TikTok Deal Extended Again! Is Trump Playing Games or Protecting America?

The Shelby Extension

Right so Trump's gone and kicked the can down the road again with this TikTok business. Seventy five more days. Seventy five more days of those bloody influencers shaking their arses and calling it 'content.' Feels like dealing with Luca Changretta all over again – just when you think you've got a deal they change the rules. He says it needs more work this deal. 'Ensure all necessary approvals are signed,' he bleats on his Truth Social. More like ensuring his pockets are lined. But who knows eh? Maybe there's more to it than meets the eye. Like I always say 'Everyone's a whore Grace. We just sell different parts of ourselves.' Trump's selling national security or so he claims.

China's Unhappy

Apparently the Chinese aren't too pleased about these 'Reciprocal Tariffs.' Imagine that. They're getting a taste of their own medicine those commies. 'Necessary for Fair and Balanced Trade,' Trump declares. It's all a game of chess innit? One wrong move and you're staring down the barrel of a Blinder's pistol. ByteDance is saying they're talking to the Yanks but any deal needs China's blessing. A deal hasn't been signed yet apparently. 'Key matters to be resolved,' their spokesperson said. Well ain't that always the case?

Biden's Legacy

The deadline was supposed to be April 5th set by that wet blanket Biden with his 'national security law.' National security my arse. More like protecting the old guard from the young 'uns with their fancy dances. Trump being Trump then extended the deadline 75 days when he took office. A power move but for what? To look tough or to make a quick buck? "Whiskey's good proofing water. Tells you who's real and who isn't." This whole saga stinks of whiskey gone bad.

The App Store Shuffle

Remember when Apple and Google pulled TikTok from their app stores? A right kerfuffle it was. Back online in February after Trump gave the nod. 'Course it bloody did. Too much money at stake for those yanks and tech blokes to just go dark. These bloody Americans need money and everyone knows it. 'You strike when your enemy is weak' eh?

The Suitors Circle

Oracle AppLovin Amazon... everyone and their mother wants a piece of TikTok. Even that Andreessen Horowitz crowd Blackstone and a load of private capital firms want in. It's like a bloody auction. All these vultures circling waiting for the kill. Even Frank McCourt and Alexis Ohanian fancy their chances. It's a madhouse I tell ya. Just like a Birmingham back alley on a Saturday night.

The Tariff Game

Trump reckons these tariffs are the bee's knees the most powerful economic tool to keep us safe. He's slapped a 34% tariff on China which combined with the existing 20% means they're getting hit with a whopping 54%. Still he might lower them tariffs to seal the TikTok deal. Money talks eh? Makes you wonder what's truly at stake here. Just like Pol says "Intelligence is a very valuable thing innit my friend? And usually it comes far too late". Time will tell if Trump is playing us all or just trying to line his pockets. Either way it's business as usual.