Amazon Boss Says 'No Attenuation of Demand' Despite Trump's Tariff Tirade: By Order of the Shelbys

Business as Usual By Order

Right so Amazon's boss this Jassy bloke he's saying they ain't seen folks tightening their belts despite what Trump's been up to with these tariffs. Shareholder meeting all done fancy and virtual like we're living in some sort of futuristic nightmare. 'No attenuation of demand,' he says. Sounds like a bloody cough doesn't it? But what he means is people are still buying their trinkets.

Tariffs and Trade Policies A Fookin' Mess

Amazon like the rest of 'em is trying to swallow this tariff business. Earlier this month they were moaning about 'tariffs and trade policies' making things a bit dicey. But Jassy's playing it cool for now. "We haven't seen any meaningful average selling price increases." he said. It's all smoke and mirrors until it hits the pockets of the working man and that's when the real trouble starts.

Eat the Tariffs or Get Eaten

Now Walmart's flapping their gums about price hikes later this month. Trump being Trump told them to 'EAT THE TARIFFS.' Imagine that. Eating bloody tariffs. I'd rather eat razor blades. Target's talking about raising prices too but Home Depot's playing it cagey keeping their cards close to their chest. Smart move. Less said less trouble. As I always say 'Whiskey's good proofing water. Tells you who's real and who isn't.'

Strategic Inventory Like Stocking Up on Bullets

Jassy says they made some 'strategic forward inventory buys.' Sounds like he's been stocking up like we used to stock up on bullets before a big job. He's 'maniacally focused' on keeping prices low. Good. Because if people can't afford to put bread on the table they start looking for someone to blame. And that's when things get...unpleasant.

Marketplace Mayhem: Whose Prices Are Rising?

This Jassy bloke says some of the third party sellers the ones selling on Amazon have already hiked their prices. Others are holding steady. He reckons the 'diversity and size' of their marketplace helps customers get the best deals. We shall see about that. In this game you either adapt or you die. Remember that.

Emission Reporting? More Like Emission of Bullshit

Before all the money talk the investors were banging on about emissions working conditions and the climate. All very noble I suppose. All those proposals got binned. Figures. The world's going to burn but at least someone's making a profit while it does. As my aunt Polly used to say 'There's God and there are the Peaky Blinders.' In this case replace 'Peaky Blinders' with 'Amazon'. The vote totals will be out soon. Not that it matters much. The house always wins.