
My Displeasure is Immeasurable and My Day is Ruined!
Bah! Microsoft in its infinite corporate wisdom (or lack thereof) has unleashed a Fatality upon its Washington state workforce. 830 souls ripped from the ranks like Sub Zero tearing off a spine. It seems even the mighty tech giants are not immune to the whims of the Elder Gods... or you know cost cutting measures. These cuts remind me of when Quan Chi manipulated me! Utterly despicable.
Game Over Man! Game Over!
Among the fallen are game design workers audio designers (silencing their symphonies of code!) and even a lab technician. Clearly Microsoft's 'focus on meaningful work' doesn't involve creating virtual realms for us to escape to or enhance soundscapes. Maybe they should focus on what makes them a successful company. This is outrageous! "You Suck!"
Lawyers Accountants Engineers... NOBODY is Safe!
Even the halls of justice (Microsoft's legal department that is) were not spared! Ten lawyers reduced to unemployment. Six hardware engineers... their tools now gathering dust. It's a massacre! This is like Shao Kahn invading Earthrealm – indiscriminate destruction. Is it because their code wasn't up to par with mine or was it just an excuse to save money?
Xbox Loses a Life! (But Still Has Plenty of Koins)
The Xbox division took a hit. Revenue growth may have been below expectations (8%? Pathetic!) but I assure you that the Xbox is a wonderful piece of hardware! Perhaps they should have consulted me for marketing strategies. I could have sold more Xboxes than they have had sales in the past! GET OVER HERE!
Azure Ascends Employees Descend
Ah Azure the cloud that devours all. Microsoft's 'fastest revenue growth' comes from this digital realm while their employees are left grounded. A cruel irony wouldn't you agree? It seems Satya Nadella is too busy counting his koins to comment. 'Get over here and explain yourself!' I would say if I could get my chain around him.
Cost Efficiencies: The New Final Boss
Amy Hood the CFO speaks of 'cost efficiencies.' A bloodless phrase for a brutal reality. Tell that to the 830 families in Washington! Tell that to the developers who poured their souls into creating worlds! This is Outworld level ruthlessness. This ends here!
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