Applied Digital Makes CoreWeave Its Bitch: 7 Billion Reasons to Laugh!

If It Bleeds We Can Lease It!

What in the sacred hunting grounds is this? Applied Digital a company I barely registered on my thermal vision just bagged a massive deal with CoreWeave for AI data centers! A 48% spike in shares? That’s almost as satisfying as watching a worthy prey’s blood paint the jungle canopy. Seems these humans are getting smarter or at least better at making deals. They predict $7 billion in rental revenue. $7 billion? That’s enough to buy a whole new cloaking device… or maybe a bigger plasma caster.

One Giant Lease For Mankind

Wes Cummins the CEO of Applied Digital says they're stepping into advanced compute infrastructure. "Through these newly signed long term leases with CoreWeave we are taking a step forward in our strategic expansion into advanced compute infrastructure," he proclaimed. Well congratulations meathead! While you're stepping I'll be leaping into the future with your sweet sweet technological advancements. My shoulder cannon's itching to test out some of this AI on unsuspecting prey.

Ellendale We Have Liftoff!

This CoreWeave is setting up shop in Ellendale North Dakota. Why North Dakota? Is the hunting good there? Do they have worthy adversaries? Or is it just a bland landscape where they can hide their shiny new toys? Doesn't matter. What matters is Applied Digital provides 250 megawatts of critical IT load. Megawatts! That's enough power to charge my wrist computer my plasmacaster AND run the ship. Perhaps a scouting trip is in order...

The Data Center Jungle

A campus designed for 400 MW? They lease two data cell blocks one 100 MW and one 150 MW. And Coreweave has an option for a third data cell block of 150 MW capacity! This is like stumbling upon a whole new hunting ground filled with advanced technology. The possibilities are endless! New weapons new tactics new trophies... the hunt never ends!

Show Me the Money!

CoreWeave shares are on a tear! Setting record highs. They started at $39 and hit $130.76. Not bad for a company renting AI servers. Maybe I should invest? Nah. I prefer taking what I want. It's more…sporting. Besides hunting them is much more fun and rewarding. The thrill of the chase the perfect kill...unmatched! I live for this.

Get To The Choppa! (And Then Invest)

So Applied Digital is making bank CoreWeave is booming and I’m thinking of upgrading my thermal vision. Remember no matter how advanced technology gets there's always room for a good hunt. Now I need to get to the choppa... and maybe open a brokerage account. Who knows maybe I'll be the one leasing them next!