MongoDB's Money Mountain: Even I Could Afford a New Teddy!

Bean tastic News!

Right then! I saw this news about some company called 'Mongo something' doing rather well. Up 13%! Can you believe it? That's nearly enough to buy oh I don't know a lifetime supply of baked beans! Or perhaps a slightly larger teddy bear...hmmm. If only I understood what they actually *do*. Something with computers I gather. Not quite as exciting as setting off fireworks indoors but still!

A Cloud of Confusion (and Money)

Apparently their 'cloud based database service' is the bees knees. Now I've seen clouds. I've even tried to catch them in a jar (didn't work obviously). But 'database'? Sounds a bit like my flat – crammed full of things I don't need but can't bear to throw away. Except this one makes *money*! They made $549 million. That's enough to fill my Mini with beans drive it to Buckingham Palace and offer the Queen a bean sandwich all at the same time!

Earning Like Mr. Bean Does...

I hear their 'adjusted earnings per share' (whatever *that* is) went up too. Sounds a bit like adjusting my trousers after a particularly large portion of cheese and onion sandwiches. It seems someone called Dev Ittycheria – sounds a bit like a sneeze doesn't it? – is 'confident'. Confidence is good. It's how I get away with parking in disabled spaces sometimes. "We are confident in our position to drive profitable growth as we benefit from this next wave of application development," he says. It's all gobbledegook to me but sounds important.

Future Bean efits?

They're predicting even *more* money in the future! Honestly it's all a bit much for my little bean brain to comprehend. Seems they expect between $2.25 billion and $2.29 billion in revenue for fiscal year 2026. At this point I could have all the toast I want! I could finally afford to replace my broken toothbrush. Maybe even two toothbrushes!

Chief Berry's Boost!

A 'finance chief' called Mike Berry says it's all down to this 'Atlas cloud based database services' thingy. I bet he's got a lovely car and never has to queue for the bus. Also it seems they can buy back some shares for $1 billion. Does this mean if I save up enough pocket money I can buy some of Mr. Mongo somethings shares? If so what do I get? More beans?

A Loss... but a Smaller Loss!

Ah but it wasn't all sunshine and roses. They did have a loss. But it was a *smaller* loss than last year! So it's like spilling less coffee on my cardigan. Still a mess but progress right? Maybe next year they'll have *no* loss. Then I can expect to see them deliver me a years supply of beans! Now that's what I call success! I must send Teddy a telegram to tell him the good news! "Teddy! MongoDB doing well! More beans soon! Bean."