Microsoft Kicks Butt! Like a Drunken Master!

Good News Good News!

Hello everybody! It's Jackie! Today I'm not fighting bad guys I'm talking about… computers! Microsoft! They did very good! Like when I'm fighting and suddenly find a ladder to climb – unexpected but effective! They made more money than everyone thought. Earnings per share? Boom! Revenue? Pow! Beating expectations! It's like me dodging bullets – surprising but I always make it mostly!

Cloud Power! Like a Crane Style!

Azure cloud business is like my crane style – graceful powerful and it gets the job done! It helped Microsoft grow 13%! That’s like me doing 13 backflips in a row… maybe I need a stunt double for that part now! Net income? Up 18%! It's like finding hidden treasure after a fight scene! I think maybe I should invest… but first let’s see what the old President man says okay?

AI is the Future! Like My Next Movie!

Microsoft is putting a lot of money into AI big money! Like my movie budgets! They're building the future like how I build my action scenes – brick by brick punch by punch. They spent almost $17 billion on this! That’s a lot of noodles! This AI stuff is the real deal like when I first learned Drunken Master style. Seemed crazy but it worked!

Offices and Clouds! Like Chopsticks and Rice!

The Productivity and Business Processes segment is making money too. It is like my movies and my food! It makes me happy! And the Intelligent Cloud boom even more! Azure is the star growing like bamboo after the rain. Even with all this it is always good to check the fine print! Do not forget that… always!

Windows and Games! Like a Good Old Fight!

Even the Windows and games are doing well! That’s like when I win a fight using everything I have! Sales are up people are happy. Microsoft is like a Swiss Army knife – so many tools so many ways to win! Though sometimes simple is best. Like a good punch to the face!

OpenAI and Future Plans! Like the End Credits!

Microsoft and OpenAI are like me and my stunt team always adjusting always improving. The most important thing is not how many times you fall but how many times you get up! Microsoft had some expenses but hey that's life! They also are down this year but like me they will keep going doing good things for the world. And me? I’m going to go practice my kicks! Bye bye!