Zuckerberg Considers Instagram Spin-Off Are You Serious!?

Bloody Hell What's This I'm Hearing?

Right listen up you donut! Mark Zuckerberg that techy twit apparently considered spinning off Instagram back in 2018! Can you believe the cheek? It's all come out in court – emails the lot! The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is having a proper go at Meta accusing them of being a bunch of monopolizing bullies. And I must say this reeks more than a poorly aged blue cheese.

Instagram's Value: More Than Just a Pretty Filter

Apparently Zuck was worried about antitrust lawsuits. Honestly you'd think with all that money he'd have a better legal team. He bought Instagram in 2012 for a billion quid – a steal really. Back then it only had 13 employees. Now it's a bloody behemoth! And now he's worried about having to sell it off? What is he an idiot sandwich?!

WhatsApp? More Like What A Load Of...

And it's not just Instagram! The FTC is also sniffing around WhatsApp. Zuck snapped that up for $19 billion. Nineteen BILLION! I could buy a damn castle for that! The FTC reckons these acquisitions are what's turned Meta into this monstrous monopoly. They want to break it all up. Good! Maybe that'll teach them a lesson about buying up all the competition.

TikTok iMessage? Are You Having a Laugh?!

Meta's defense? They're claiming the FTC is clueless. They're saying there are rivals like TikTok and Apple's iMessage. Listen here those are different beasts altogether! It's like comparing a Michelin starred restaurant to a bloody kebab van! They're not the same are they?!

Snapchat Rejection Burned Worse Than My Kitchen!

Oh and here's a juicy bit! Back in 2013 Zuck offered $6 billion for Snapchat but that Evan Spiegel told him where to stick it! Serves him right. Imagine if he'd bought that too. It would have been a proper monopoly then. Talk about a close call!

Flipping Hell What's Next?

Zuckerberg in his email even admitted that if Instagram had stayed independent it would only be the size of Twitter or Snapchat. About 300 400 million users. But now? It's closer to a billion! This trial could drag on for weeks. But one thing is for sure I'll be watching. Because at the end of the day someone's gotta keep these tech giants in check! Otherwise it's all going to end up as one big bland over processed mess and nobody wants that do they?!