Eat My Shorts! Trump's Tariffs Got Gadget Makers Shouting Ay Caramba!

Tariff Trouble: A 'Cowabunga' Crisis?

Hey hey! It's Bart Simpson here reporting live from Springfield where the only thing more yellow than my skin is the color of these companies' faces after Trump slapped those tariffs on China! This lady Robin Liss from Suvie thought she could just whip up dinner gadgets without a hitch but surprise! Her parts are all made in China and now she's gotta run around Asia like a headless chicken lookin' for a new factory. Talk about a 'Bartman' blunder! She says she might run out of appliances. Heh serves her right for not eating Krusty Burgers!

Wall Street Wobbles: Tech Stocks Do a 'D'oh!'

Even Wall Street's doing the 'D'oh!' dance folks! Tech stocks are tumbling faster than Homer at an all you can eat donut buffet. These poor companies are so panicked it's like Groundskeeper Willie chasing me through the school! They're too small to deal with these extra costs and the big guy in the White House just keeps changing his mind. It's like trying to understand Principal Skinner's rules – totally impossible!

Make America Wealthy Again? More Like 'Make Companies Move Again!'

Trump's got this thing called a "Make America Wealthy Again Event." Sounds like a party but it's really just him talking about more tariffs! He's slapping them on China Canada and Mexico! Those countries send us a boatload of stuff. Now some smarty pants consultants thought they were safe movin' their stuff outta China but now they're scratchin' their heads like Homer tryin' to solve a nuclear physics problem. It's a real 'Eat my shorts!' moment for them.

Suvie's Suffering: No 'Mmm Dinner' for You!

This Suvie lady is suckin' up the costs right now tryin' not to charge you extra. But she's got problems on problems! Not only are her gadgets expensive but the food she sells with 'em is gonna cost more too! Those meal kits are already over 10 bucks! Who's gonna pay that when you can get a Squishy or Duff Beer at the Kwik E Mart? I know I would!

Consumer Chaos: 'I Didn't Do It!' – Said Everyone

Turns out regular folks are getting poorer at the same time! Some big shot at the Federal Reserve even said people are buying less stuff. And a bunch of nerds at Yale figured out we might all have to cough up two grand extra a year because of these tariffs! Two grand?! That's enough for a lifetime supply of Krusty Os! Even Target's gonna jack up prices on strawberries and avocados. It's a real 'Ay Caramba!' situation!

Desperate Measures: More Moving Than Maggie on a Scooter

This Suvie lady is flyin' all over Asia like a crazy person hopin' to find a new place to make her stuff. She says she can switch factories super fast but if she doesn't no dinner gadgets for Christmas! And another company Austere is stockpilin' like crazy! It's like when I try to hoard all the candy on Halloween before Lisa gets to it. The whole electronics biz is gonna get hammered they say. Laptops tablets even video games are gonna get crazy expensive. Guess I'll stick to my slingshot.