Eat My Shorts! Threads is Getting Ads! Are You Kidding Me?

Ay Caramba! Ads Everywhere!

Alright Simpsons fans listen up! Your favorite microblogging hangout Threads is about to get a whole lot more...annoying! Meta that mega corp run by the Zuck himself is unleashing ads on everyone. That's right even *you* can now be bombarded with stuff you don't need. As if my life wasn't full enough of Krusty the Clown endorsements already! I betcha those ads will be more obnoxious than Milhouse trying to be cool.

Testing Testing 1 2 Ads!

Apparently they've been sneaking ads into Threads with some companies in the U.S. and Japan since January like some kind of Sideshow Bob plot! Now they are going full blown nuclear with the ads and opening the floodgates to any business with some spare cash. They say it's 'testing' but it looks more like they are waiting for us to become lab rats.

Censoring the Crap (Sort Of)

Meta's saying they've got this 'inventory filter' thingy to keep ads away from all the bad stuff and offensive content huh? I guess that's cool but I'm not sure I trust those guys to know what 'offensive' really means. I wouldn't trust them further than I could throw Nelson Muntz. Still gotta give 'em a 'Mmm maybe' for trying.

Slow and Steady...Maybe?

According to some lady named Susan Li (never heard of her) Meta's taking it 'gradual'. So no giant ad tsunami but it will eventually come. She even said they don't expect it to be a big cash cow until 2025. Classic under promising so they can act surprised when we line their pockets even more.

Threads vs. X: The Great Social Media Showdown!

Some eggheads are saying Threads could be a huge money maker like Twitter or X or whatever Elon Musk is calling it these days. Remember when he took over Twitter? It was more bonkers than Comic Book Guy finding a misprint! Apparently Twitter used to rake in $5 billion a year. Can you say 'Ka ching!'?

Zuckerberg's Grand Plan

Zuckie boy is dreaming big! He claims Threads is adding a million users a day and wants it to hit a billion users eventually. A billion! That's more people than I've prank called in my entire life! He wants Threads to be the ultimate chat place. Well good luck to him I'm just hoping all these ads don't make it suck more than a Lisa Simpson saxophone solo.