Yeah, Baby! Cisco's Earnings are Groovy, but Trump's Tariffs? Not So Much, Baby!

Shagadelic Earnings Baby!

Alright alright alright! Austin Powers here reporting live from my shag pad! Cisco yeah that's the ticket has just dropped some seriously groovy earnings! We're talking 96 cents a share baby exceeding expectations like I exceed the expectations of every babe I meet! And revenue? $14.15 billion! They're swimming in more dosh than I am in beautiful women! It's like they've got the mojo working overtime!

Oh Behave! Net Income is Off the Charts!

Net income baby net income! It's rocketing like my ahem rocket! Up to $2.49 billion! That's more than I've spent on velvet suits and swanky medallions! They're pulling in more dough than Dr. Evil's got in his secret volcano lair. This is serious business yeah!

Retiring CFO? Not My Bag Baby!

But hold on baby! Scott Herren the CFO is hanging up his boots on July 26th. Oh no! It's like losing Vanessa Kensington all over again! But fear not because Mark Patterson is stepping up to the plate. A 25 year veteran baby! He's seen it all done it all. He's probably even shagged a few supermodels in his time but that's just a guess. A calculated guess! Groovy!

Tariff Trouble? That's Not My Kind of Evil!

Now here's where it gets a bit tricky baby. Donald Trump's tariffs are looming like Dr. Evil's shadow! 30% on China 25% on Canada and Mexico! Cisco's CEO Chuck Robbins is keeping a close eye but so far customers aren't freaking out. Which is great news baby yeah! We don't want any buzzkills messing with our mojo right?

AI: The Future is Now Baby!

But wait there's more! Cisco's cashing in on the AI craze! Over $600 million in AI infrastructure orders baby! That's more than I've spent on well everything! Meta's getting in on the action with Ethernet fabrics leaving InfiniBand in the dust! It's all about the future baby! The future is now! And it's groovy yeah!

Webex AI Agent: Do I Make You Randy?

And finally Cisco's got a Webex AI agent for customer service! Do I make you randy? Maybe this AI can finally understand what I'm trying to say! Networking revenue's up security products are booming thanks to Splunk and Jeetu Patel's getting a promotion! Everything's coming up Austin! Oh behave!