Groovy Baby Google Sued for 5 Billion Pounds! Is Their Search Monopoly Shagadelic or Just Plain Evil?!

Yeah Baby! A Giant Problem in the UK!

Alright Austin Powers here reporting live from swinging London! It appears that Google yes the company that knows everything about everyone (sounds like Dr. Evil doesn't it?) is in a spot of bother! They're being slapped with a lawsuit for a whopping 5 billion pounds! That's like a bazillion dollars baby! They're accused of being a search engine monopoly which frankly is not very shagadelic.

Austin Powers Investigates: The Nitty Gritty!

So what's the rumpus? Well this brainy bird Or Brook (no relation to my ex wife Alotta Fagina thankfully) is leading the charge on behalf of thousands of British businesses. Apparently Google's been charging these businesses a fortune to advertise squeezing out the competition like a lemon! "Today UK businesses and organisations big or small have almost no choice but to use Google ads to advertise their products and services," Brook said. Sounds like someone's been eating too much Mojo!

Google's Defense: A Load of Shite I Say!

But hold on a tic! Google's not taking this lying down. They're calling it a "speculative and opportunistic case." Oh really? They claim people use Google because it's helpful not because there are no other options. Yeah right! That's like saying Mini Me isn't a miniature version of Dr. Evil! It's all smoke and mirrors baby smoke and mirrors!

90 Percent?! That's More Than My Sexual Prowess Baby!

And here's the kicker: A 2020 study found that Google rakes in 90% of ALL the revenue in the search advertising market in the UK! Ninety percent! That's even higher than my success rate with the ladies! And we all know how shagadelic I am baby!

A Conspiracy More Evil Than Dr. Evil's Lair!

The lawsuit claims Google's been pulling all sorts of sneaky moves like making deals with phone companies to pre install their search engine and even paying Apple billions to be the default! Oh behave! It's a conspiracy I tell you a conspiracy more fiendish than Dr. Evil's plan to hold the world ransom for one million dollars (which adjusted for inflation is practically nothing these days). They also make sure that their own advertising tools work better with their own products. A bit fishy don't you think?

Big Tech Under the Hammer: A Case for the Ages!

This isn't just a Google problem though. All the big tech companies are under fire. From Meta (Facebook) to Amazon it seems like everyone's getting a taste of the legal hammer. It's a groovy time to be alive baby! But will justice prevail? Only time will tell! Now if you'll excuse me I have a date with a Swedish supermodel. Yeah baby!