JBS Conquers Wall Street: A Feast Fit for the Gods (and Maybe a Few Corrupt Mortals)

To Valhalla... or Wall Street?

Hark my shield brothers and shield maidens! Ragnar Lothbrok has heard tales from across the Great Ocean tales of a new battlefield – Wall Street! It seems the Brazilian meat mongers JBS have finally planted their flag on this hallowed ground. Their shares like a longship braving a storm have risen. Though not without delay for they claimed some operational issues kept them from debuting on the expected day. Seems a bit suspicious if you ask me. A true Viking is always prepared for a good raid no?

The Butcher's Bill: More Than Tyson's!

They say JBS is now worth more than that… Tyson fellow? A poultry peddler they say. It seems these Brazilians have amassed a fortune worthy of a dragon's hoard dealing in… well death mostly. They are after all the world's largest meatpacking company. I suppose there's glory of a sort in feeding the masses. But I prefer my glory earned on the battlefield axe in hand not with a ledger and a slaughterhouse. Still their revenue is more than some kingdoms I've raided! Perhaps I should invest or maybe raid them instead... hmm decisions decisions!

From Sao Paulo to New York: A Viking Voyage With A Few Detours

Ah but the journey has not been smooth. This JBS has a past more tangled than Floki's beard after a night of mushroom tea. Corruption bribery scandals aplenty! It seems their path to riches wasn't paved with honor but with... well let's just say the gods frown upon such behavior. Even *I* have more integrity than that and I've raided a monastery or two in my time! 'Sometimes it is not enough to know what you are up against. Sometimes you need to know why you are fighting.' And their fight seems to have been for pure unadulterated greed.

The Batista Brothers' Dance With the Law: A Saga of Intrigue

These Batista brothers the sons of the founder sound like characters from a Norse saga! Accusations of insider trading fines paid then… a triumphant return to the board! It's enough to make one's head spin faster than a berserker in battle. They even managed to avoid prison! It's almost admirable this level of cunning. Though I still wouldn't trust them with my axe... or my wife. Lagertha would carve them up before they could say 'oink'.

Amazonian Sins: Blood Money and Protected Lands

And what's this about illegally raised cattle in the Amazon? Stealing land from nature itself? The gods will not be pleased! I have always respected the land even as I raid it. 'We must all face our own fears. It is how we grow.' And JBS needs to face its fears by cleaning up their act... or face Ragnar Lothbrok's wrath. (Just kidding... mostly).

Trump's Favor: A Political Bribe or a Wise Investment?

Even the All Father Trump has been touched by this JBS! A hefty donation to his inauguration committee. Is this bribery? A clever play for influence? Or just a fortunate coincidence? Whatever it is it seems to have greased the wheels for their U.S. listing. 'Power is only given to those who are prepared to lower themselves to pick it up.' JBS certainly seems willing to get their hands dirty to get what they want.