Abercrombie's Profit Outlook Slashed, Stock Soars Like a Valkyrie to Valhalla! By Ragnar Lothbrok

The Gods of Trade Smile… For Now

By Odin's beard! I Ragnar Lothbrok have seen stranger things than Abercrombie's shares soaring while their profits shrink. It reminds me of that time I raided a monastery and found more gold than prayers. These so called 'tariffs' – they sound like some tedious tax the King of France would invent. Apparently they're costing Abercrombie $50 million. A hefty sum even for buying off a Jarl!

Earnings Take a Hit Just Like My Enemies

So Abercrombie expects their full year earnings to be less than a shield maiden's patience. Analysts those seers of numbers predicted $10.33 a share but now they're expecting something less shiny. Reminds me of the time Floki promised me a shortcut to England and we ended up in… well let's just say it wasn't England. These things happen. 'We must suffer for what we believe' or in this case what we invest in eh?

Revenue Rises Like the Tide Before a Storm

Ah but here’s a twist worthy of Loki himself! They've raised their revenue outlook. More sales like more mead at a feast. They now expect net sales to grow by 3% to 6%. More longboats filled with treasure! 'Fear is a hunter you cannot see' unless you're looking at a good revenue forecast apparently.

Margins Suffer A Common Viking Problem

Operating margins are down they say. Sounds like when we run out of ale during a long siege. Less profit per sale like paying Lagertha less for her shield maiden services (which I assure you is never a good idea). It's a blow but we Vikings are resilient and so it seems is Abercrombie!

Shares Soar Defying Logic and Gravity

And here is where the story goes wild. Despite all this doom and gloom Abercrombie's shares jumped 25%! It's madness! Like Floki building a boat without nails! But the gods favor the bold. Maybe these traders know something we don't. After all I'd rather have regrets than what ifs. Abercrombie are going for it!

Hollister Saves the Day Blessed by the Gods

Turns out Hollister is pulling the longboat. Sales are up 22% their best first quarter ever! Seems their brand is appealing to the youth those future warriors and shieldmaidens. Abercrombie brands net sales were down 4%. But you know even I had a bad day sometimes eh? Overall CEO Fran Horowitz is pleased and so for now am I! Perhaps there's still gold to be found in this venture. "How I long to be sailing on the open sea" with a good profit! Skål!