Olive Garden Sales SLUMP! Mr. Bean Blames the WEATHER (and Himself?)

The Great Sales Mystery!

Right then! I saw this paper yes and it said… Olive Garden not doing so well! Can you believe it? Olive Garden! It's usually so… *gestures vaguely*… Italian! Like my holidays where I put a clothespin on my nose! Darden Restaurants they said it was the weather. Weather! Hmm… Maybe Teddy forgot to wear his scarf again and caused a chill in the air? It must be serious. This is almost as bad as the time I tried to paint my flat with a firework!

Money Money Money...Aha!

Apparently Darden made some money… billions even! But not enough apparently because some people with glasses (analysts they call them) were expecting even MORE! It's like when I find a pound coin down the back of the sofa but then remember I need two for the parking meter. Always a disappointment! Still the big bosses seem confident things will be alright. Even if the parking meter man chases them.

Olive Garden's Slippery Slope!

Olive Garden's sales they only went up a little bit. Like a tiny bit. A bit like my driving skills! Apparently the clever people thought it would be more! But they are trying something new. This delivery they say the people buying the food spend 20% more than people who go to the Olive Garden. Is it because of all the money they are saving from not having to pay for gas? So they spend it on food!

LongHorn's Long Face

And LongHorn Steakhouse well they weren't exactly setting the world on fire either were they? A bit like when I try to cook a steak. It always ends up looking a bit… sad. Maybe they need a bit of my special Bean style seasoning? Although that usually involves a lot of mess and a very confused Teddy.

Fancy Grub Blues!

The fancy restaurants The Capital Grille and Ruth's Chris Steak House they are not doing great either! People want to spend less money after Christmas! Like when I have to decide whether to buy a new paintbrush or a jar of pickled onions. Pickled onions usually win you know because they taste good with a baguette!

The Forecast: More Weather!

So what does it all mean? Well Darden thinks they'll still make lots of money this year. But they might need to invest in some snow shovels just in case! Or maybe just maybe I should start offering my services as a weather forecaster. I have a feeling I'd be much better than those people on the television. I mean how hard can it be? You just point at a map and say… "It might rain!" And then you blame the weather! Just like Darden!