Eat My Shorts, Prices Are Going Up! Trump's Tariffs Hit Your Wallet Harder Than Milhouse's Head

Tariff ic News for Suckers!

Hey what's crack a lackin' dudes and dudettes? Bart Simpson here bringing you the news nobody wants to hear but everyone's gonna feel...in their wallets! Turns out those tariffs that President Trump slapped on everything are finally starting to hit prices harder than Principal Skinner when I swap his shampoo for hair remover. And guess who's paying the price? You are man! HA!

Macy's Nordstrom D'oh! More Expensive!

So those fancy schmancy stores like Macy's Nordstrom and even Dillard's are getting sticker shock. Seems like the price of clothes shoes and bags are going up like Lisa's grades when she's sucking up to Krabappel. DataWeave (whoever THEY are) says prices started going up in May. Looks like I'll have to stick to Krusty Brand products!

Shoes: Prepare for the Pain!

Shoes are leading the charge in the price hike parade. Apparently they're already 4% more expensive than in January. Even DataWeave's big shot CEO Karthik Bettadapura says that footwear is getting hit the hardest. Looks like I'll be sticking to my trusty skateboard...for now! But remember I didn't do it nobody saw me do it there's no way you can prove anything!

Vietnam? More Like Viet no way!

And get this even Vietnam is getting in on the action! Trump made a deal with them but it means stuff made there is gonna cost more too especially if it started out in China and was just 'transshipped.' Companies like Nike Lululemon and the others are gonna be paying more for importing their merchandise and that means you're gonna be paying more for their products as well suckers!

Consumers: The Final Arbiter (Whatever That Means)

Some Walmart big wig named Bill Simon says you the consumer get to decide if you're gonna pay those higher prices. Like if bananas cost too much 'cause of tariffs you can just buy oranges instead. So basically if you don't wanna get ripped off switch to something else. Eat my shorts tariffs!

Inflation: The Silent Killer (of Your Budget)

Some financial brainiac Peter Boockvar says inflation's already here. And Fed Chair Jerome Powell is just gonna sit around and watch until it's too late! Classic! So there you have it folks. The economy's going to the dogs but as long as I can still afford my Squishees I'm good! Don't have a cow man! I'm Bart Simpson. Over and out!