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Peter Griffin reports on Goldman Sachs adding Johnson & Johnson to its 'Conviction List,' while I'm just trying to figure out what that even means. image

Holy Crap Lois! Goldman Sachs is Pushing Pills! Johnson & Johnson Stock Gets the Thumbs Up!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:32
3 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on Eli Lilly's soaring weight loss and diabetes drug sales, a cancer treatment deal, and lowered profit expectations, all while pondering Trump's tariffs and taxes. Giggity! image

Holy Crap Lois! Eli Lilly's Drugs are Making Bank! (But There's a Catch...)

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:04
3 minutes to read

President Trump doubles down on tariffs, claiming China is ripping us off, while downplaying potential economic fallout and suggesting kids need fewer dolls. What could possibly go wrong? image

Trump Declares China 'Chief-Ripper-Offer' - Empty Shelves and Two Dolls For Everyone!

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:46
2 minutes to read

Ford CEO Jim Farley says Trump's tariff relief for auto parts is a start, but more is needed to boost the U.S. auto industry. It's like getting a 'free' lollipop at the bank – nice, but you're still broke! image

Holy Crap Lois, Trump's Tariff Relief is Like Finding a Quarter in the Couch Cushions! Ford CEO Wants More!

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:25
3 minutes to read

Lars Klingbeil is the new German Finance Minister, and apparently, he shreds... on guitar, not money. Though, maybe both? image

Holy Crap Lois! Germany Just Got a New Money Guy and He Plays GUITAR!

Wed 30 April, 2025 09:38
3 minutes to read

Starbucks' earnings are down, but they say a turnaround is brewing (get it?). Can they avoid becoming the next Blockbuster? Giggity! image

Holy Crap Lois! Starbucks is Broke-er Than Peter's Bar Tab!

Tue 29 April, 2025 22:11
3 minutes to read

Novo Nordisk teams up with telehealth companies like Hims & Hers and Ro to sell Wegovy online, making it easier (and maybe cheaper) for folks to get their hands on this weight loss miracle... or at least something that might help me avoid another 'shut up Meg' moment about my weight. image

Holy Crap Lois! Weight Loss Drugs are Going Online! (And Maybe I Can Finally Fit Into My Pants!)

Tue 29 April, 2025 14:45
2 minutes to read

NXP's CEO is ditching us like Lois ditches my driving, but hey, at least they made some money... kind of. image

Freakin' Sweet Chip CEO Steps Down! Is This the End of the World (Again)?

Mon 28 April, 2025 22:04
2 minutes to read

White House Whispers and Wall Street Wonders: Is Apple Finally Getting a Break From the Trump Train? image

Apple's Rotten Luck? Maybe Not! (Giggity)

Mon 28 April, 2025 19:41
3 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on how Trump's tariffs are making American farmers sing the blues, with cancelled orders, layoffs, and enough pork to make Brian blush. image

Giggity Giggity: Trump's Trade War Turning U.S. Farmers into Chicken Fighters!

Mon 28 April, 2025 11:29
3 minutes to read