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Showing 61 to 70 of 89 news articles

SAP's Q1 profits skyrocket by 58%, defying economic uncertainty and making the executives richer than Monty Burns! image

Excellent! SAP Profits Soar While the Rest of You Toil in Misery! Are You Surprised?

Wed 23 April, 2025 09:33
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan warns of high unpredictability for AI cloud company CoreWeave, citing customer concentration and economic volatility, but some analysts see significant upside potential. image

CoreWeave Stock A Wild Ride! Are You Brave Enough For This AI Gamble?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 18:17
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reports on new tariffs levied against Southeast Asian solar cell imports, protecting American solar manufacturers (and possibly my vast energy empire). image

Excellent! Chinese Solar Companies Face My Wrath! Are They Stealing My Sun Power?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 01:54
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns analyzes Amazon's downgraded stock, citing tariffs and investment risks, and sees an opportunity for Springfield Power Plant domination. image

Amazon Stock Doomed Wall Street Duped D OH!

Mon 21 April, 2025 11:10
3 minutes to read

Stablecoin legislation may cause a surge in demand for U.S. Treasuries, strengthening the U.S. dollar, and potentially adding to my already vast fortune. Release the hounds! image

Excellent! Stablecoins to Make Me Even Richer Than I Am Now!

Sat 19 April, 2025 12:01
2 minutes to read

New Jersey's Attorney General slaps Discord with a lawsuit, claiming the platform hoodwinked parents and children about safety features. Is this the beginning of the end for online fun, or just another Tuesday for Monty Burns? image

Excellent! Discord Sued For Child Safety! Is My Monopoly Next?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 20:24
4 minutes to read

A satirical look at Russia's reaction to Trump's tariffs, questioning their exclusion and the potential impact on global trade. image

Are Trump's Tariffs a Russian Gambit?! You Won't Believe What Happens Next!

Thu 17 April, 2025 11:20
3 minutes to read

Old Man Burns laments the temporary demise of Spotify and ponders its impact on his vast fortune and listening pleasure. image

Spotify Apocalypse My Music Was SILENCED!

Wed 16 April, 2025 17:33
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan Chase escalates its pursuit of customers who exploited the 'infinite money glitch,' now targeting smaller sums and considering challenges to bankruptcy filings. image

Excellent JPMorgan Chase Sues Customers Over Infinite Money Glitch! Are YOU Next?

Wed 16 April, 2025 12:19
3 minutes to read

OpenAI and H & R Block are joining forces to unleash a tax-filing AI by 2026, threatening the livelihoods of tax professionals and, perhaps, enriching one Montgomery Burns. image

Are Accountants Obsolete?! OpenAI and H & R Block Plan to Steal Your Money... I Mean, Simplify Taxes!

Tue 15 April, 2025 17:29
3 minutes to read