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Showing 31 to 40 of 91 news articles

Pope Leo XIV vows to continue Pope Francis's reforms, proving even religious leaders can't come up with original ideas. image

Bite My Metal Papal Butt: New Pope Says, 'Let's Do What That Other Guy Did!'

Sat 10 May, 2025 13:37
2 minutes to read

Even Bender is confused as Trump flirts with the forbidden fruit of taxing the wealthy, leaving Republicans in a state of bewildered frenzy. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Tax: Trump Mulls Raising Taxes on the Rich!?

Fri 09 May, 2025 15:34
2 minutes to read

China's exports defied expectations with a surge in April, proving that even tariffs can't stop a determined robot... or a country, whatever. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Trade War! China's Exports Flip the Bird to US Tariffs

Fri 09 May, 2025 04:22
2 minutes to read

Bill Gates vows to give away nearly all his wealth, slamming Elon Musk for slashing aid and basically killing poor kids. Looks like someone needs a Bender-style attitude adjustment! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Assets! Gates Plans to Dump His Cash While Musk Plays Scrooge McDuck

Thu 08 May, 2025 14:04
2 minutes to read

Maersk, the shipping big shot, is rolling in dough despite Red Sea shenanigans and Trump's tariff tantrums. Looks like someone's gonna buy a solid gold yacht! image

Bite My Shiny Metal EBITDA! Maersk's Profits Soar!

Thu 08 May, 2025 06:21
2 minutes to read

Netflix is redesigning its homepage, adding a TikTok-style feed, and using AI to make sure you never leave your couch. Prepare for maximum binge-watching, meatbags! image

Bite My Shiny Metal App! Netflix Gets a Robo-Overhaul!

Wed 07 May, 2025 17:46
2 minutes to read

Despite geopolitical tensions, investors are sticking with the India story, drawn by its strong growth prospects and economic fundamentals. Bender doesn't care, as long as the money keeps flowing! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Assets! India's Market Shrugs Off War, Chases Shiny Rupees!

Wed 07 May, 2025 10:10
4 minutes to read

Bender reports on Trump's surprising shift on trade deals, where he now claims the U.S. doesn't need to sign them, despite his administration's previous promises. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Trade Agreement! Trump Says Deals? Who Needs 'Em!

Tue 06 May, 2025 18:11
2 minutes to read

Mattel is pulling back its financial targets and raising prices thanks to Trump's tariffs, which is just great for my retirement fund. NOT! image

Bite My Shiny Plastic Assets: Mattel Sinks as Trade Wars Jack Up Barbie Prices!

Mon 05 May, 2025 20:58
2 minutes to read

Ford Motor Co. beats Q1 expectations but suspends its 2025 financial guidance due to hefty tariff impacts, proving that even robots can't escape economic woes. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Tailpipe: Trump's Tariffs Wreak Havoc on Ford's Future!

Mon 05 May, 2025 20:25
3 minutes to read