Bart Simpson - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 81 to 90 of 135 news articles

Doordash buys SevenRooms for a cool billion, but their profits are kinda 'meh.' Looks like Milhouse could've done better. image

Eat My Shorts, Wall Street! Doordash Dumps Dough on Fancy Restaurant App

Tue 06 May, 2025 12:24
2 minutes to read

Nineteen states and D.C. are fighting back against the Trump administration's plan to slash jobs and programs at the Department of Health and Human Services. Ay, caramba! image

Eat My Shorts, Government! States Sue Over Massive Health Department Layoffs

Mon 05 May, 2025 18:32
2 minutes to read

Major League Soccer teams up with EA Sports FC Mobile to stream games, offering free trials and in-game goodies. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, Soccer Fans! MLS Kicks It Mobile With EA!

Mon 05 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Old man Buffett finally kicking the bucket... of responsibility! Greg Abel's taking over Berkshire Hathaway in 2025. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, Buffett! Berkshire's New Top Dog Announced!

Sat 03 May, 2025 19:54
2 minutes to read

Amazon's ex-boss Jeff Bezos plans to ditch a whole lotta shares, like, enough to buy a million Krusty Burgers! Is he building a rocket to escape Trump's tariffs? image

Eat My Shorts, Stock Market! Bezos Bails on Billions!

Fri 02 May, 2025 16:54
2 minutes to read

Old Man Bezos is ditching some Amazon shares for, like, a ton of cash. Probably buying a rocket-powered skateboard or something. image

Eat My Shorts, Stock Market! Bezos Bails on Amazon (Maybe...)

Fri 02 May, 2025 16:54
2 minutes to read

Bart Simpson reports on how JPMorgan's JEPI ETF helps investors chill out during market mayhem, offering downside protection and income like a perfectly timed prank call. image

Eat My Shorts, Market Crash! JEPI ETF to the Rescue!

Fri 02 May, 2025 11:45
2 minutes to read

President Trump lays down the law, telling the world to ditch Iranian oil or face the wrath of Uncle Sam. Oil prices are going up, man! image

Eat My Shorts, Iran! Trump's Oil Ban is Like Detention... Forever!

Thu 01 May, 2025 21:14
2 minutes to read

Even with Trump's tariffs looming, Meta's profits are soaring like Milhouse on a sugar rush, thanks to ads and AI! image

Eat My Shorts, Recession! Meta's Makin' Bank!

Thu 01 May, 2025 15:54
2 minutes to read

Teladoc's stock takes a nosedive, so they're scooping up UpLift for $30 million to try and make their BetterHelp segment not so 'meh'. image

Eat My Shorts, Market Value! Teladoc Buys UpLift to Fix BetterHelp!

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:15
2 minutes to read