Bart Simpson - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 101 to 110 of 135 news articles

Novo Nordisk body slams copycat pharmacies making cheaper versions of their weight loss drugs, and the FDA is backing them up. Ay, caramba! image

Eat My Shorts, Copycats! Wegovy Wins Bigly!

Fri 25 April, 2025 14:07
3 minutes to read

Alphabet (aka Google's Mom) just dropped its latest report card, and it's got more As than Lisa after a caffeine bender! Money, Money, Money! image

Eat My Shorts, Wall Street! Alphabet's Cash Pile is Bigger Than Milhouse's Comic Book Collection!

Thu 24 April, 2025 21:44
2 minutes to read

The Trump administration is thinking about investing in mining companies to kick China's butt in the critical minerals game. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, China! Trump's Mineral Mania!

Thu 24 April, 2025 12:52
2 minutes to read

The Trump administration is thinking about investing in companies that dig up rocks to stop us from relying on China for all our gadgets. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, China! Trump Wants to Mine All the Rocks!

Thu 24 April, 2025 12:52
2 minutes to read

China's relaxing its rules for foreign businesses, kinda like when Milhouse tries to be cool but ends up just being Milhouse. Still, progress, man! image

China Just Did WHAT with Foreign Investments?! Eat My Shorts, Trade Wars!

Thu 24 April, 2025 03:35
2 minutes to read

Meta unleashes the advertising hounds on Threads, hoping to snag some serious cash like X (formerly Twitter). Doh! image

Eat My Shorts! Threads is Getting Ads! Are You Kidding Me?

Wed 23 April, 2025 15:05
2 minutes to read

SAP's Q1 earnings went nuclear, leaving analysts drooling and stock prices sky-high. Even Trump's tariffs couldn't stop this gravy train! image

Eat My Shorts! SAP's Profits Explode Like Milhouse After a Sugar Rush!

Wed 23 April, 2025 09:33
2 minutes to read

Treasury Secretary hints at de-escalation in the US-China trade war, causing stocks to skyrocket! Cowabunga! image

Trade War Truce! Is Trump About to Make Nice with China?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 17:55
2 minutes to read

Bart Simpson reports on the surprising progress in trade talks between India and the U.S., featuring tariffs, diplomacy, and maybe even some Krusty Burgers. image

Eat My Shorts Tariffs! India and U.S. Make Trade Deal Progress!

Tue 22 April, 2025 02:26
2 minutes to read

Netflix's killer first-quarter results have Wall Street analysts throwing money at the screen, predicting a future so bright, you gotta wear shades. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts Netflix Stock Skyrockets Analysts Go Bonkers!

Mon 21 April, 2025 10:57
2 minutes to read