Iran's Nuclear Program Gets the 'Goodman' Touch: Obliteration or Opportunity?

The 'Truth' According to The Don(ald not Corleone)

Folks let me tell you even I Saul Goodman can appreciate a good client who knows how to make a statement. And President Trump bless his heart he's got that down to a science! "Obliteration" he says! Now that's what I call a sales pitch! Forget "Better Call Saul," it's "Better Call the Bomb Squad!" Because according to the former Prez Iran's nuclear sites? Gone. Poof! But is it really folks? Is it really? That's what I'm here to sniff out for you like a hound dog on a scent of… well let's just say something more valuable than a bottle of Zafiro Añejo.

Generals and Their 'Severe Damage and Destruction,' Oh My!

Okay so Trump's throwing around the 'O' word (obliteration) but then you got the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Gen. Dan Caine talking about "severe damage and destruction." Sounds like a fancy way of saying 'We messed things up pretty good,' am I right? It's like when I tell a client their case has 'potential for significant improvement' – translation: you're probably going to jail. But hey at least you'll have a story to tell! And maybe I can sell the movie rights. "Breaking Bad: The Prison Years," anyone?

Battle Damage Assessment: The Military's Version of 'Spin'

BDA – Battle Damage Assessment. Sounds official doesn't it? Like something out of a Tom Clancy novel. But let's be real it's all about the spin. "Did we hit our target?" "Did we achieve our objectives?" Translation: "Can we tell the public this was a success without looking like complete buffoons?" It's like when I tell a judge my client is 'rehabilitating' – even though he's probably just learned new ways to cook meth inside a toilet.

The UN's "Cautious Tone" and the Iranian Houdini Act

And then you have Rafael Grossi the UN nuclear watchdog chief playing it cool. 'Can't assess the damage yet,' he says. Right. Probably busy trying to figure out how to dismantle a bomb using only a paperclip and a rubber band. And get this – Reuters is reporting that Iran moved the good stuff the highly enriched uranium before the strikes! Presto chango! Like me disappearing into the night after a 'minor' accounting discrepancy. These guys are good folks. Real good. Almost as good as me at getting clients off the hook.

Bombs Away: B 2s Tomahawks and One Big 'Boom'

Six B 2 stealth bombers 30,000 pound 'bunker busters,' Tomahawk missiles… Operation Midnight Hammer? Sounds like my kind of operation only instead of blowing things up I'm usually just blowing smoke. But this this is some serious hardware. More than 125 aircraft involved! I bet those pilots needed a good lawyer afterwards. All that G force can't be good for your… judgement.

So What's the Verdict Saul?

Well folks it's like I always say: 'Never trust a man in a suit.' Or in this case 'Never trust a politician with a bomb.' The truth? It's probably somewhere in between Trump's 'obliteration' and the military's 'severe damage.' One thing's for sure this whole situation is messier than a batch of Walter White's blue meth gone wrong. But hey messy is good for business. And if anyone needs a lawyer after this whole nuclear kerfuffle you know who to call! Better… well you know the rest. And remember S'all good man!