IRS Chief Quits Over Secret Data Deal! Giggity Giggity!

Another One Bites the Dust! Giggity!

Well well well... looks like someone couldn't handle the heat! Melanie Krause the acting head honcho over at the IRS is calling it quits! And let me tell you folks this is juicier than that time I walked in on Mort Goldman sunbathing in his Speedo. Apparently she's bouncing after a *very* interesting deal was struck to share tax data with those fellas over at Homeland Security. Giggity! This is like Lois catching Peter with another woman except the other woman is... *data*! Oh the horror!

Data Data Everywhere But Not a Byte to Share? Think Again!

So what's the big deal? Turns out our pals at the IRS and DHS cooked up a little scheme to hand over taxpayer info on undocumented immigrants. You know for 'reasons.' Now I'm no lawyer – though I *did* once play one in a community theater production of 'A Few Good Men' giggity – but even *I* know that sharing private info like that could land you in hot water. I bet you it wasn't as hot as the time I shared a jacuzzi with the Swedish women's volleyball team after they won the gold medal in the Olympics. Giggity!

Treasury's Secret Rendezvous... Without a Plus One!

The real kicker? Word on the street is that Treasury bigwigs went behind Krause's back to make this deal happen. Like Peter sneaking off to the Clam with Cleveland and Joe but instead of beer and bad jokes it's... sensitive tax data! Apparently IRS lawyers were raising red flags faster than I raise my eyebrows at a lady wearing a short skirt but nobody listened. Oh the intrigue! Reminds me of the time I tried to set up Bonnie Swanson with a Russian mail order bride. It didn't end well let me tell you. Giggity.

Elon's Axe: Chopping Jobs Like a Boss!

And if that wasn't enough drama buckle up because Elon Musk that rocket launching Twitter loving genius is in charge of downsizing the government! He's been firing people left and right like Peter firing off his... uh... *ideas*. I bet you he fires people so fast he doesn't even have time for giggity! What's next is he gonna make us all wear Tesla branded jumpsuits? I'd rock it!

Deja Vu All Over Again? O'Donnell's Exit!

But wait there's more! Turns out Krause isn't the first IRS chief to bail on this data sharing nonsense. Her predecessor Doug O'Donnell also bounced when he refused to sign a similar deal. This is starting to sound like a bad romantic comedy Giggity! The last Senate confirmed IRS commissioner? Gone on Trump's first day! Talk about timing! I've had better luck getting a date on Craigslist! Reminds me of the time I went to a nude beach to meet women and ended up meeting Herbert. Giggity.

Retirement Beckons! Giggity... Goodbye?

So Krause is taking the early retirement route. I can't say I blame her! Who needs all this bureaucratic hullabaloo when you can be sipping Mai Tais on a beach somewhere? Or you know doing whatever retired IRS chiefs do. Maybe she'll finally have time to watch all those 'Baywatch' reruns. Giggity! I hear the retirement program is good too so you might be able to get some free viagra! I hope she enjoys her retirement. Giggity... Giggity... Goo!