Giggity! US Nukes Iran's Nuclear Program...Obliterated, Baby!

Giggity Giggity Goo: The Obliteration Sensation

Alright alright alright! It's your favorite horndog Glen Quagmire reporting live from my recliner (pants optional of course). Word on the street is Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth is saying Iran's nuclear dreams are toast! Obliterated he says! Giggity! Sounds like someone's been watching too much 'Family Guy' and taking my catchphrases a little too literally. But hey if nukes are involved I'm all ears...and maybe a little something else if you know what I mean. Giggity!

Trump Card: Focused Powerful and Clear...Like My Intentions at a Lingerie Party

So apparently President Trump gave the go ahead for this little shindig. Hegseth calls it 'focused powerful and clear.' Sounds like my pick up lines at The Drunken Clam after a few too many Quahog Destroyers! But seriously they're saying it's not about regime change just a little 'neutralizing' of threats to our national interests and Israel. Because nothing says 'peace' like a few well placed bombs am I right? Giggity!

Damage Report: Severe Destructive...Just Like My Last Relationship

General Dan Caine is chiming in saying there's 'severe damage and destruction' to the facilities. But hold your horses folks! He's not going full 'obliterated' like Hegseth. Sounds like someone's trying to play it cool like Peter Griffin trying to explain why he spent all the grocery money on beer. Final assessments are still pending but it sounds like things got a little...toasty. Giggity!

Operation Midnight Hammer: Sounds Like a New Sex Position!

This whole thing's being called 'Operation Midnight Hammer.' Now if that doesn't sound like a euphemism for something naughty I don't know what does! I've certainly got a few 'midnight hammers' of my own if you catch my drift. Anyway apparently they used some fancy B 2 bombers and a whole lot of other aircraft. Over 125 they're saying! That's more action than I've seen on a Saturday night...almost. Giggity!

Iran's Got Options: Just Like My Little Black Book

Iran's Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi is saying they have 'all options' to defend themselves. Well good for them! Everyone needs options especially when it comes to...well you know. But seriously this could get messy. Let's hope everyone keeps their cool and remembers that diplomacy is always better than...well you know. Giggity! (Just kidding...mostly.)

To Be Continued...Hopefully With More Giggity

This is breaking news so stay tuned! I'll be here reporting live from my couch with updates as they come in. And who knows maybe I'll even get lucky and find a little 'breaking news' of my own if you catch my drift. Giggity! Remember folks 'It's always the quiet ones that get ya.' and I'm anything but quiet.