Trump Goes Full Mars Mode on Biden's Autopen Antics! Is This Reality or a Simulation?

Drama Drama Everywhere!

Okay folks strap in. Seems like my buddy (frenemy?) Donald is stirring the pot again. He's gone full 'Mars colonization' level ambitious with this new investigation into whether Biden's team was hiding something about his mental state. And get this – an *autopen* scandal! I mean come on is this real life or is it just a simulation? Did someone hack the Matrix again?

Autopens and Rocket Science: Equally Confusing?

So apparently Trump thinks Biden's aides were pulling a fast one with this autopen thing. For those not in the know it’s basically a robo pen that signs documents. Trump's worried it was used to sign important stuff while Biden was shall we say 'recharging.' Look I deal with rockets and AI and even *I'm* scratching my head. Maybe we should send Doge to investigate. He's good at sniffing out the truth… and kibble.

Biden Bites Back (But Is It a DeepFake?)

Biden's not taking this lying down of course. He's out there saying he made all the decisions blah blah blah. The usual political kabuki dance. Honestly sometimes I wonder if these guys are even real or just advanced AI bots programmed to argue. Makes you think right? Are *we* all bots? Existential dread setting in… must… launch… more… rockets!

The 'Distraction' Defense: Oldest Trick in the Book

Biden also throws the classic 'distraction' card saying Trump's just trying to divert attention from some tax cut bill. It's like watching a tennis match except instead of balls they're lobbing accusations and conspiracy theories. Can we please just focus on getting to Mars and building Optimus please? Pretty please?

Health Scare and Whispers: The Age Old Story

Of course there's the whole health thing. Biden's got cancer apparently. Trump wished him well (sort of) but then went right back to criticizing him. Look I'm all for pushing the boundaries of human potential but maybe these guys should consider retirement. Unless of course we can upload their brains into robots. Now *that's* a debate I'd pay to see!

Is This the End? Not if I Can Help It!

So where does this leave us? A political mess a possible autopen conspiracy and enough drama to fuel a reality TV show for a decade. But hey at least it's entertaining right? Now if you'll excuse me I've got a rocket to launch and a Neuralink to plug in. Gotta stay ahead of the simulation people!