Harvard Tells Trump Administration Get Away From Her You B!tch!

Another Beautiful Day in the Corps... I Mean at Harvard

Alright listen up. Ripley here back from the dead AGAIN it seems. Heard about this mess brewing at Harvard. Seems the Trump folks are at it again this time trying to tell one of the oldest institutions in the US what to teach and who to let in. Nine BILLION dollars are at stake. I swear it's always about the money isn't it? Just like Weyland Yutani... only instead of aliens they are fighting progress.

Diversity Equity and... Xenomorphs? Oh Wait Inclusion!

So Trump's team wants Harvard to scrap its DEI programs. Diversity Equity Inclusion... sounds alright right? Unless you're one of those types who thinks everyone should be the same and spout the same garbage. And screening international students for 'wrongthink'? I've seen more open mindedness in a facehugger. Seriously what century is this? 'American values inscribed in the U.S. Constitution'? I didn't know those were up for grabs. Where I'm from those are supposed to be immutable.

Harvard's President Channels His Inner Ripley

Now here's where it gets interesting. Harvard's President Alan Garber basically told the White House to 'get away from her you b****!' (Okay maybe he was more polite than that). He said no government should be dictating what universities teach or who they hire. Good on him. Someone's gotta stand up to these bullies. It's a damn shame really that the majority of it is aimed to combat antisemitism. No one wants that.

They Cut the Power! (and the Funding)

Apparently this White House has been on a DEI busting spree since Trump took office. They already chopped $400 million from Columbia for their handling of those pro Palestinian protests. And now Cornell and Northwestern are next. Columbia caved like Lambert in a tight spot but Harvard's digging in its heels. Smart move. Better to face the consequences than lose your soul.

Remember Lambert She Screamed A Lot

Honestly this whole thing stinks like the Nostromo after a Xenomorph infestation. It's about control. It's about fear. And it's about trying to turn back the clock to some imaginary 'good old days' that never existed. Newsflash: the good old days weren't good for everyone.

Nuke It From Orbit! (or Just Stand Your Ground)

So what's the takeaway? Harvard's taking a stand risking a fortune to do what's right. Hopefully it inspires others to do the same. Because if we don't stand up to this kind of crap who will? Just remember what Hicks said: 'Hang tough.' And maybe invest in a good flamethrower just in case.