Eat My Shorts, Trade War! Trump and Xi Call a Truce (Maybe?) on Rare Earths!

Ay Caramba! The Talking Heads Are At It Again!

Hey man it's your boy Bart Simpson here to drop some truth bombs on this whole 'grown up' trade war thing. So apparently President Trumpy pants and President Xi from China had a pow wow. Trumpy claims Xi said he'd let those fancy rare earth minerals flow to the U.S. again. Like who even cares about rocks? But apparently these rocks are super important for making like everything. My skateboard maybe? Don't have a cow man this could be good news... or not.

Woo Hoo! Less Taxes More Doughnuts

So the bigwigs were freaking out 'cause China was holding back on the mineral supply. Apparently that's bad for making cars computer chips and even stuff for the army! Whoa! Trumpy pants even accused China of being a Nelson Muntz style bully breaking some fancy agreement. But now maybe things are cooling down. My sources (aka Ralph Wiggum) tell me things are looking up. Could this mean cheaper Krusty Burgers? Excellent!

Don't Have a Cow Man! The Deal's Kinda Sketchy

But hold your horses dudes! This whole thing is sketchier than Milhouse's attempt to be cool. Trumpy pants has been on a real 'on again off again' trip with this trade war. One minute he's screaming about tariffs the next he's shaking hands. It's like watching Itchy and Scratchy but way more boring. I wouldn't trust this deal further than I can throw Otto Mann's school bus.

Cowabunga! Politics is Weirder Than Lunchlady Doris' Cooking

Seriously these politicians are more unpredictable than Grandpa Simpson's stories. One minute they're best buds the next they're slapping each other with tariffs! And the rare earth thing? Turns out China's got all the leverage. If they cut off the supply of those minerals companies can't make stuff and the economy goes belly up. It's like when Homer tries to fix the plumbing... total disaster!

I Didn't Do It! Who's Really Calling The Shots?

And get this China has apparently granted export licenses to rare earth suppliers for the top three US automakers? Is that like Ford? And Chevy? What if I had a car... would they give me one too? So much to think about. It's all about leverage baby! China knows Trumpy pants doesn't want the economy to tank before the next election. It's like a really messed up game of poker and I'm pretty sure someone's cheating. Bart didn't do it!

Eat My Shorts World Peace? Time Will Tell...

So what does it all mean man? Are we headed for world peace and free ice cream for everyone? Probably not. But maybe just maybe this whole rare earth thing will calm down a bit. Just don't get your hopes up too high. Remember with politicians anything can happen. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go prank Principal Skinner. Eat my shorts!