Eat My Shorts Tech! Trump's Tariff Tsunami is Coming!

Ay Caramba! More Tariffs?

Hey what's crackalacking dudes? Bart Simpson here your favorite pint sized pundit dropping some truth bombs hotter than Milhouse's chili. So apparently Trump's administration is playing some kind of tariff two step with China and let me tell ya it's messier than Lisa's saxophone practice. First they're like 'Woohoo! No tariffs on your precious phones and laptops!' Then BAM! Secretary Whatshisface Lutnick comes along and says 'Psych! Semiconductor tariffs are coming probably sooner than you can say 'Don't have a cow man!'

National Security? More Like National Boredom!

Lutnick's yapping about how we gotta make everything in America for 'national security.' Oh brother! Sounds like a bunch of baloney to me. I bet he just wants to jack up the prices so he can buy another solid gold toilet. I say let's just stick to making donuts and letting China build our gadgets. Everybody wins except maybe my dad's wallet. But who cares about that?

Apple's in a Pickle D'oh!

So Apple's freaking out because they make all their stuff in China. Serves 'em right for charging a month's salary for a phone! Maybe they should start paying their workers better instead of whining about tariffs. Or you know just make phones that don't break every five minutes. That'd be a start.

Booker's Got Beef

Some senator dude named Booker is calling out Trump for being a flip flopper. Says nobody knows if they can trust him. Well duh! That's like saying Principal Skinner's a pushover. Everybody knows it! But hey at least it makes for good comedy right?

Confusion is My Middle Name (Not Really It's Jojo)

The whole thing's a bigger mess than Krusty's dressing room after a pie fight. One minute tariffs are on the next they're off then they're kinda on but only for certain things... It's enough to make a kid's head spin. I'm starting to think Trump's just making this stuff up as he goes along.

Eat My Shorts Economy!

So what's the takeaway folks? Well if you're planning on buying a new phone or computer you might wanna do it quick before these tariffs kick in and prices go higher than Maggie's hair. Or you know just stick with your old stuff. It's not like technology ever really changes that much anyway. Cowabunga dudes!