Eat My Shorts, NATO: Trump's 5% Demand Got Greece Saying Ay, Caramba!

Trump's Big Number: Five Alive or Just Plain Fried?

Hey dudes and dudettes! Bart Simpson here reporting live from Springfield (okay maybe not live but you get the picture). So Trump that guy with the… interesting hair wants NATO to cough up 5% of their GDP for defense. Five percent! That's like all the Krusty Burgers you can eat – a total cowabunga! But the Prime Minister of Greece Kyriakos Mitsotakis thinks that's a bigger stretch than Milhouse trying to be cool. He told CNBC it's 'very very difficult'. No duh! Even I know that’s gonna be a tough sell to all those European countries!

Greece's Defense Dilemma: More Drachmas for Boom Sticks?

Now Greece is already shelling out over 3% on defense probably because they're always eyeballing their neighbor Turkey. Mitsotakis is all like 'We're doing our part man!' He even thinks that Trump had a point back in '17 when he called out NATO for not pulling their weight. 'Eat my shorts' I say to those who slack off am I right? He said 'We understand now that there is no free lunch and we cannot free ride.' What is this some kinda Lisa Simpson lecture?

3.5%? Is That All There Is?

So what’s the magic number then? Mitsotakis thinks 3.5% is the ceiling like when I try to sneak extra cookies before dinner. Apparently NATO Chief Mark Rutte (not to be confused with Root Beer – mmm Root Beer) suggested 3.5% plus another 1.5% for other security stuff. Sounds like they're trying to pull a fast one! Good thing I already mastered this trick.

Accounting Shenanigans: Making the Numbers Dance

The Greek Prime Minister also mentioned that how we calculate this whole defense spending thing matters. If we throw in stuff like 'critical infrastructure,' maybe 5% isn't so crazy. But that's just creative accounting like when Homer tries to hide donuts from Marge. Classic!

Euro Rules: No Duff Beer for You!

Turns out the EU has rules about how much debt countries can rack up. They've been easing up a bit lately which is good news for those wanting to buy more tanks and fighter jets. Mitsotakis thinks they could be even more ambitious. Maybe they should take some tips from me on how to cause a little chaos!

June Summit Showdown: The Fate of NATO's Wallet

All this juicy gossip is gonna come to a head at the NATO summit in June. Will they agree on new spending targets? Will Trump get his 5%? Will I finally get that pony I've been asking for? Stay tuned dudes! This is Bart Simpson signing off! Don’t have a cow man!