With Great Power Comes Great...Prostate Problems? Biden's Battle

My Spidey Sense is Tingling...With Concern!

Alright web heads listen up! Your friendly neighborhood Spider Man here swinging in with some not so friendly news. It seems former President Joe Biden yeah the guy who probably thinks my webs are organic (they're not Aunt May makes 'em!) has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Cue the dramatic music! Dun dun duuuun! I know I know heavy stuff. But hey at least it's not Venom am I right? Seriously that goo is a pain to get off my suit.

Gleason Score? Sounds Like a Villain's Superpower!

So the docs found this "nodule" (sounds like something Doc Ock would use!) and gave it a Gleason score of 9. Apparently that means the cancer is kinda aggressive. Like Rhino charging through a wall aggressive. But the good news is it's hormone sensitive which means they can probably manage it. They're looking at treatment options. You know the whole 'we'll figure it out' jazz. I'm sure he's got a team of geniuses on it. Hopefully they're not as eccentric as Curt Connors before... you know. One thing is for sure though if there were giant monsters attacking New York I would be the one person to know what to do.

Spidey's PSA (Prostate Service Announcement)!

Now listen up fellas! This whole thing spreading to the bone? Not good! It's like trying to web up sand. Tough to contain! But if the hormones are the key then there's hope. And hey if you're feeling off go see a doctor! Don't be a hero (leave that to me!). Early detection is like having Spider Sense for your health. Plus Aunt May would kill me if I didn't promote good health. She makes a mean wheatcake but a meaner guilt trip.

Even Old Foes Send Sympathies!?

Hold on to your web shooters! Even President Trump the guy who probably thinks my webs are a national security threat sent well wishes. I guess even supervillains (politicians?) have a soft spot. Kamala Harris the Veep also chimed in with some encouraging words. "Joe's a fighter," she said. And you know what? She's right! I've seen him in action (on TV mostly). He's got that stubborn streak that's like my web fluid – it just won't break!

Age Ain't Nothing But a Number...Unless It's Your Cholesterol!

Now there's been some chatter about Biden's age especially after that debate snafu. And apparently some book says his aides were hiding his decline. Sounds like a plot from Mysterio! But hey even Captain America needs a nap sometimes. The guy's got a track record. He even had a cancer "moonshot" thing going on trying to cut the cancer death rate. That's a cause even Spidey can get behind!

From Basal Cells to the Bone: A Medical Cliffhanger!

So he's had a skin lesion removed a polyp taken out… it's like he's collecting medical milestones! Let's all hope this prostate thing is just another bump in the road. Hey if he needs someone to swing him to the best doctors I'm available! Just saying. Stay strong Mr. President! And remember "With great power comes great responsibility… to take care of yourself!" Now if you'll excuse me I have a date with a supervillain and a pizza.