Trump's Trade Wars and Tech Troubles: By Order of the Peaky Blinders

The American Dream? More Like an American Nightmare.

Right so Trump's back at it throwing his weight around like he owns the bloody place. Increased the pressure on Apple he did with some nonsense about foreign made iPhones. As if we didn't have enough trouble already. The stock market's gone to pot and now Nvidia's caught in the crossfire. 'Course he's calling himself the 'administrator of pain.' Sounds like Arthur on a bender doesn't it? You listen to me if there is any fighting... you fight like you're at war.

Apples and Oranges (and Tariffs)

Apple's taken a right beating dropping out of the $3 trillion club. Jim Cramer's got his knickers in a twist fretting about Apple like it's a losing gamble at the Garrison. But let me tell you something 'Sometimes death is a kindness'. Apple will pull through. But this 25% tariff on iPhones made outside the US? That's just adding fuel to the fire. Trump's even threatening Samsung and the Europeans. It's all a bit… theatrical isn't it? Makes you wonder if he's got a part to play or if he's just a bloody clown.

Nvidia's Gamble: AI and a Chinese Puzzle

Now Nvidia's the next one in the spotlight. They're betting big on AI but Trump's China AI chip ban is throwing a spanner in the works. A $5.5 billion inventory charge? That's a heavy loss even for the likes of us. Jim Cramer's sweating about Nvidia's earnings like a copper at a Blinder's wedding. But Jensen Huang and CFO Colette Kress got more than one trick up their sleeve. New deals in the Middle East? Now that might be a game changer. 'Intelligence is a very valuable thing innit my friend?'

Salesforce: Selling Dreams in a Downturn?

Salesforce is also up this week peddling their AI products Data Cloud and Agentforce. Marc Benioff and Robin Washington will have to convince everyone that customers are still buying what they are selling even with a bloody trade war in the midst. Cramer's worried about them too. Seems like everyone's on edge. I’ve learned over the years that our plans are only as good as our ability to change them. It's all about adaptability innit?

Costco's Consistency: A False Sense of Security?

Costco. Reliable they say. Consistent. But even they ain't immune to the madness. Tariffs are hitting everyone and Costco's no exception. The blokes that run the place have to figure out how to keep those shelves stocked and those prices low. Remember 'Everyone's a wh*re Grace. We just sell different parts of ourselves.' Even Costco. The question is are they selling out?

The Week Ahead: Playing the Odds

So what's next? Inflation data earnings reports economic calendar loaded with potential for chaos. The Fed's watching the PCE index like a hawk hoping it trends down to 2%. Trump's calling for rate cuts but they're playing it cool. It's all a game of chance really. But remember 'Whiskey's good proofing water. Tells you who's real and who isn't'. In this case the whiskey is the trade wars. And it's showing us exactly who's playing who.