Is Your Portfolio About to Get Webbed Up?! Cramer's Top 10 Market Movers Revealed!

Tesla's Troubles: A 'Code Red' Situation?!

Alright web heads first up: Tesla! Word on the street – or should I say the Wall Street Journal – is that Tesla might be in a bit of a pickle. Some analyst dude called Dan Ives is throwing around phrases like 'code red' if Elon Musk keeps hanging out in Washington instead of you know focusing on cars. Sounds like someone needs to use their spider sense and figure out what's going on! With great power comes great responsibility Elon! Maybe he should stick to building electric cars and leave the government efficiency to… well someone else. But hey what do I know? I'm just a friendly neighborhood Spider Man. Though maybe I should invest in a Spidey mobile… electric of course!

Trump vs. Powell: Can Anyone Really Get Fired?

Okay so apparently there's some drama brewing at the White House. Word is Trump is thinking about giving Jerome Powell the boot. Now Powell says he's untouchable but does that even matter these days? It's like when Kingpin tries to fire me from a skyscraper – technically he can't but he's still gonna try! Makes you wonder can anyone really be fired? Even supervillains? Guess we'll have to wait and see. And maybe invest in some popcorn. This could get messy!

Market Mayhem: Red Flags and Record Highs?!

Hold on to your hats folks because the stock market is looking a little… spidery. Everything's opening lower the dollar's taking a nosedive and gold's hitting record highs. Seems like Wall Street's waiting for some good news on the trade deal front but so far it's all just empty webs. Reminds me of when I try to explain my dating life to Aunt May. Lots of hopes not a lot of progress. Time to brush up on my financial acrobatics because this could be a bumpy ride!

China's Trade War Tantrums: Don't Sign With the U.S.!

Looks like China's not too happy with the U.S. making trade deals. They're threatening to retaliate against anyone who signs a deal that hurts their interests. Talk about a bad case of sibling rivalry! Plus some Chinese investors are pulling out of U.S. private equity. It's like watching a supervillain retreat to their lair to lick their wounds. Hopefully this doesn't turn into a full blown global web war!

Amazon's Angst: Are the Clouds Clearing?

Even Amazon isn't immune to market mood swings! Some analyst downgraded them citing operating income pressures. But hey Amazon's basically the cheapest place to buy everything from web shooters to Spidey suits! And they've got that cloud service AWS which is probably how Dr. Octopus keeps his tentacles connected to the internet. So maybe they'll be okay. Besides who doesn't love getting packages delivered to their door… even if they're covered in spiderwebs?

Netflix on Fire: Streaming to the Top!

Holy moly Netflix is on a roll! Their stock price is getting bumped up left and right after some amazing earnings last week. Everyone's raising their price targets saying they can do no wrong. Seriously it's like they've got a symbiote bonded to their success! I wonder if they'll ever make a show about a friendly neighborhood Spider Man? I'd totally binge watch that! Just sayin'...