Holy Stock Market Swings, Spidey's Got the Business Bugle! Tech Titans Triumphant, While Some Companies Tumble!

Microsoft's Mighty Leap: Azure Ascends!

Alright web heads your friendly neighborhood Spider Man here swinging in with the latest scoop from Wall Street! First up Microsoft! They totally crushed it like I crush bad guys (which is a lot by the way). Their Azure cloud biz is booming and their stock jumped almost 9%! Guess even the cloud has a silver lining. Who knew Bill Gates was such a web slinger in disguise eh?

Meta's Metaverse Momentum: Zucks Bucks Up!

Next Meta's making a splash! Shares are up 6% after some killer earnings. Turns out people still love cat videos and arguing with strangers online. Plus they're throwing serious cash at AI. That's got Nvidia and other chip companies doing the happy dance like when I finally get Aunt May's wheatcakes just right (still a work in progress I swear!).

Qualcomm's Quantum Quandary: Chips Ahoy... Or Not?

But it's not all sunshine and web shooters folks. Qualcomm's having a bit of a sticky situation. Despite good earnings their forecast wasn't up to snuff and their stock took a 5% nosedive. It's like when I think I've nailed a landing only to faceplant into a dumpster. Humbling to say the least!

CVS Cleans Up: Healthy Profits Happy Investors!

On the brighter side CVS is feeling good! Their earnings are looking great and the stock's up 8%. They even hiked their full year guidance. Maybe I should invest? Free bandages for Spidey? Now that’s what I call a win win! Though I mostly get my bandages from Aunt May...

GM's Gear Grinding: Tariffs Tangle the Road Ahead!

General Motors hit a speed bump. They're blaming tariffs and their forecast for 2025 is looking a little rusty. Even superheroes have budget constraints (rent in New York is insane!). So I feel ya GM. Plus Amazon spending 4 Billion to expand its small town delivery Network? That's huge. I bet that will increase profits.

Tesla's Topsy Turvy Ride: Musk's Still at the Wheel!

Finally Tesla had a bit of a rollercoaster. Rumors swirled that they were looking to replace Elon Musk but they quickly shot that down. Shares bounced back a bit but it's still been a wild ride. It's like when I'm chasing Doc Ock through the city – never a dull moment but always a little nerve wracking! Oh and also Apple is getting into trouble with Epic Games again! Classic!