Great Responsibility, Great Returns? Spidey's Slinging Through Wall Street's Wild Ride!

GXO Marks the Spot!

Alright web heads listen up! GXO Logistics is swinging high higher than me trying to catch a runaway hot dog cart on a Tuesday afternoon! Their stock jumped over 11% after they boosted their earnings forecast. They're talking EBITDA which let's be honest sounds like a villain I fought last week. But good for them! And congrats to Patrick Kelleher on becoming CEO. Maybe he can teach me how to manage my allowance better. Aunt May's getting suspicious of all the web fluid expenses.

CarMax Cruises to Victory!

Looks like people are buying cars! CarMax zoomed past expectations with a 6% stock surge. They're raking in more dough than J. Jonah Jameson on picture day (and trust me that's saying something). $1.38 per share? Not bad! Maybe I can trade in the Spider Mobile for something with better gas mileage. Though admittedly webs are pretty eco friendly.

GMS: A Bidding War? Holy Home Depot Batman!

Things are heating up in the building supplies world! GMS is apparently the belle of the ball with QXO and Home Depot duking it out. QXO offered $95.20 a share but the Wall Street Journal says Home Depot's lurking in the shadows ready to pounce. This is more dramatic than my love life! Speaking of building maybe they could help me fix that hole Doc Ock made in my apartment last month. Still finding sand in my webs...

Chipmakers Chipping Away... Or Being Chipped At?

Uh oh looks like the chipmakers are in a bit of a pickle. Rumor has it the U.S. might be yanking waivers that let them share tech with China. Nvidia and KLA are feeling the squeeze and the whole VanEck Semiconductor ETF is taking a dip. Guess even the smartest cookies crumble sometimes. Reminds me of that time I tried to build my own web shooter... Let's just say stick to the professionals kids!

Jack in the Box Gets Downgraded to... Mediocre?

Ouch! Stifel just downgraded Jack in the Box from 'buy' to 'hold'. They're blaming immigration policies for slowing things down. That's gotta sting more than a Venom symbiote hug. Poor Jack! Maybe they should add a Spidey themed burger to the menu? 'The Web Slinger': extra cheesy extra messy and guaranteed to leave you hanging... for more!

Circle Jerks All The Way To The Bank!

Circle is on a roll! Up 18% today and a whopping 70% for the week! Investors are cheering the Senate's approval of some stablecoin legislation. I still don't understand what stablecoin is but hey if it's making money more power to 'em! Maybe I should invest in some. Then I could finally afford that web shooter upgrade I've been eyeing!

Kroger Kashes In!

Looks like people are stocking up on groceries! Kroger's stock jumped 9% after some killer earnings. $1.49 per share? That's enough to buy a whole lotta Aunt May's wheatcakes! They're even sticking to their full year earnings forecast. Go Kroger go! Maybe they can sponsor my next web slinging adventure. Imagine: 'Spider Man brought to you by Kroger!'

Regencell Bioscience: From Hero to Zero (and Back Again?)

Hold on to your hats folks because Regencell Bioscience is having a *week*. Up 280% on Monday then down 18% on Wednesday and now plummeting 42% today! This is more volatile than my teenage years! What a rollercoaster! Someone get them some Dramamine stat!