GET OVER HERE! Wall Street's Fatality Round-Up: Stocks Rise, Fall, and Face My WRATH!

Nvidia's Price Target: GET OVER HERE (and maybe lower your expectations)!

Foolish UBS lowering Nvidia's price target? I say 'GET OVER HERE!' and face my wrath! They claim growth will reaccelerate but I've seen faster recoveries from a soul being ripped from its body. Still they cling to 'Buy.' Perhaps they fear my spear...or maybe they just need to 'GET OVER HERE' and witness true power.

Marriott's Upgrade: FINISH THEM...with hospitality!

Jefferies upgrades Marriott? A bold move! They believe Marriott's business model is strong enough to withstand the uncertain climate. Let's see if their rooms can withstand a true test of fire. If they can perhaps I'll consider a timeshare. But only if they offer a 'Toasty Tuesday' discount for hellfire enthusiasts.

Amazon's Robots: Technology So Advanced It's Almost...MAGIC!

Bank of America praises Amazon's robotic efforts. Fulfillment and delivery they say. Hmph! They believe delivery could cut costs. Soon Amazon will send drones to Outworld to deliver packages. Only fools underestimate the power of teleportation! The future is now! Wait... where's my package?!

Target's Downgrade: A Retail FATALITY!

Bernstein downgrades Target to 'underperform.' Sales and margins issues they claim. Credit card data paints a bleak picture. They even cite a DEI related strike! Pathetic! Sounds like the store is already burning. 'FINISH THEM!'...with sensible business practices. Perhaps they should hire a ninja to handle inventory.

Alphabet's Breakup: Should They Scatter Like Souls in the Netherrealm?

D.A. Davidson wants Alphabet broken up? Interesting. They say it's the only way forward. A complete breakup they demand! Perhaps they need a taste of my chain! Let's split them into pieces and see who is still standing. Then we can decide who will 'GET OVER HERE!' to be judged!

Johnson Controls Gets a New CEO: Can He Master the Art of the Flame?

Deutsche Bank upgrades Johnson Controls due to their new CEO Joakim Weidemanis. He sees operational improvement opportunities. Only six weeks on the job and he thinks he can make a difference? Let's see if he can handle the heat. If he succeeds maybe I'll make him my apprentice. Until then he is just another soul ripe for the taking!