GET OVER HERE, WALMART! Ex-CEO Says Tariff Fears Are Just Smoke and Mirrors!

Finish Him! (With Facts!)

Foolish mortals at Walmart tremble before the specter of tariffs claiming impending doom! But I Scorpion have seen through their charade! Bill Simon a former champion of Walmart U.S. dares to suggest that their cries of woe are…exaggerated! He speaks of hidden truths within their earnings reports a secret language of basis points and profit margins. It seems Walmart's coffers are not as empty as they claim. GET OVER HERE and witness the truth!

Toasty! (Margins)

Simon that clever warrior points out that Walmart’s gross profit margin actually INCREASED. *INCREASED* I say! Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of financial despair Walmart’s profits bloom yet they still whine about tariffs? Bah! This is an OUTRAGE! They are like Shang Tsung stealing souls (and profits) while playing the victim. He notes that they grew their gross profit margin in the U.S. business 25 basis points. So they're expanding their margin. He also reported their general merchandise categories were flattish because they had mid single digit price deflation.

Price Hikes? Think Again!

The ex CEO dares to suggest they have the space to 'manage' any impact that they would have but yet we see all the doom and gloom like we heard from my 'friends' at Walmart today I think it scares them some. I say 'Enough!' We have steady jobs and cheaper fuel. Why panic when we can fight? Consumers are tougher than they think; they have endured worse from Shao Kahn!

Fatality! (To Consumer Confidence?)

Simon warns that all the whinging from corporate executives could be chipping away at consumer confidence. I understand his meaning for fear is a powerful weapon. It can cripple even the strongest warrior. Do not listen to their propaganda. Do not fear the tariffs. Instead prepare for…bargains! For Walmart's pockets are deeper than they let on and their threats are as hollow as Quan Chi's promises.

Get Over Here Investors!

Walmart's stock might have dipped but it still holds strong for the year. Now is the time to strike! Seize the opportunity before the fearmongers regain control. Simon also joined "Fast Money" as Walmart shares were wrapping up their worst week since May 2022 on tariff jitters. He suggested the stock was a steal for investors even though Walmart warned profits were slowing. Such is the way of the market – chaos and opportunity intertwined. Use your skills and fight!

Test Your Might! (Against the Truth)

So I Scorpion implore you to see through the veil of deception. Do not be swayed by Walmart's crocodile tears. They are strong perhaps stronger than they admit. Like me they have survived worse. They will endure. And you the consumer will also endure. Now go forth and conquer…the shopping aisles!