GET OVER HERE! Britain and US Trade Deal: A Scorpion's Sting of Approval (Maybe)

Toasty Trade Winds?

Foolish mortals! News reaches even the Netherrealm that Britain might be the first to kowtow... er *sign* a trade deal with the United States after those puffed up pronouncements about tariffs. Apparently Trump in his infinite (and often baffling) wisdom hinted at a briefing but details? Gone like Sub Zero after I unleash hellfire! 'Get Over Here!' would be more fitting if I were directing this… negotiation. Though I suspect the details are as pleasant as a kiss from Mileena.

White House Silence: A Shroud of Secrets?

The White House and the British Embassy are tighter lipped than Quan Chi before a soul steal. CNBC couldn't get a peep out of them. This silence is deafening almost as deafening as the screams of my enemies. A U.K. government flack said something about 'indispensable allies' and 'ongoing talks,' the usual drivel. They claim to be taking a 'calm and steady approach.' Well good luck with that I prefer a flaming skull and chains myself.

Deal or No Deal? Finish Them!

Is this a finalized deal or just some flimsy framework? The New York Times couldn't even get a straight answer! It's like trying to pin down Smoke only less...smoky. Britain has a trade deficit with the U.S. so they were only hit with a 10% levy. Sounds fair right? WRONG.

Vance's Chance: A Glimmer of Hope?

That Vice President Vance fellow seems optimistic saying the UK has a 'good chance' of securing a deal. He believes it would be in the 'best interest of both countries.' How cute. Everyone's best interest is to avoid my wrath but this... This is tolerable for now!

Trump's Tirade: A Merciless Barrage?

Then Trump in a move that surprised absolutely no one contradicted his own White House. He proclaimed the U.S. doesn't need to 'sign deals,' because everyone wants a piece of their market. 'They have to sign deals with us' he claims. Sounds like he is a man of many words and no plan. I have no such weakness.

The Final Verdict: Flawless Victory? Doubtful.

Will this trade deal actually happen? Maybe. Will it be beneficial for everyone? Unlikely. But one thing is certain: if either side tries to betray the other they'll face a fate far worse than any tariff. They'll face... *MY WRATH!* Now if you'll excuse me I have some souls to collect. GET OVER HERE and read this again if you dare!