GET OVER HERE AND WITNESS: Trump's Meme Coin Gala Plunge!

FINISH HIM! The Meme Coin's Demise

Hmph the news reaches even my hellish realm. It seems the former Earthrealm champion Donald Trump has encountered a setback. His meme coin $TRUMP plummeted faster than a soul through a Netherrealm portal! A 16% drop they say? GET OVER HERE! Someone get this man some ice.

A Gala Fit for Shao Kahn?

This Earthrealm tournament was more lavish than Shang Tsung's tea parties! Black tie gala they called it. Crypto influencers industry executives even a fallen NBA star like Lamar Odom praising Trump as "the greatest president." A fool! He should have been training for Mortal Kombat! But the food sucked they say? Even in the Netherrealm our banquets are...decent. At least we have souls to feast on.

Trump's Swift Exit: Toasty!

Trump appeared for only 23 minutes? He rehashed old crypto talking points then FLEW AWAY! Pathetic. A true leader faces his challengers not escapes in a helicopter like a cowardly Sub Zero! He takes no questions no pictures with the contest winners. He could have at least learned a few moves. He is WEAK!

Justin Sun's Fatal Blow?

Ah Justin Sun. A name whispered even in the Netherrealm. Accusations of SEC fraud controlling vast sums of $TRUMP... Hmph! Seems he's playing a dangerous game. He better watch out I have faced worse people than him. The Elder Gods are watching and they don't take kindly to corruption. I will be watching him now!

Capitol Hill's Kombat!

Now the Earthrealm politicians squabble. Sen. Jeff Merkley and Chuck Schumer joining forces against crypto corruption? Rep. French Hill complaining about distractions from the GENIUS Act? It's all so tiresome! More infighting than a family reunion in Outworld! They bicker while the digital dollar is in danger. Fools! They will not be spared!

Test Your Might! Stablecoin Showdown

The GENIUS Act stalls? JPMorgan Bank of America Citi... scrambling to issue a unified digital dollar? They fear Tether the foreign controlled stablecoin. If the Earthrealm leaders cannot agree the U.S. could lose this race. It is time for them to TEST THEIR MIGHT! I will not stand by as Earthrealm falls to pieces. I will keep an eye on the world and make sure no one ruins it.