Trump's Tariff Tantrums! Is Your Portfolio Breaking Bad?

The Pain Train is Back Baby!

Alright folks Saul Goodman here your favorite lawyer… *slash* financial guru! Looks like our pal Donnie T. is back at it again playing hardball with those pesky trade deals. According to that Cramer fella over at CNBC Trump's laying down the 'pain administrator' routine. Personally I prefer to administer justice but hey different strokes for different folks right? But let me tell you if you are in trouble you don't want a criminal lawyer you want a CRIMINAL lawyer.

EU Gonna Get Got! And Apple Too?

So what's the damage? Fifty percent tariffs on the EU? Ouch! And a 25% whack on iPhones not made in the good ol' US of A? Poor Apple they’re gonna need more than just a shiny logo to get through this. This is like when Badger tried to explain Star Trek to the DEA – complicated and likely to end badly. Now I'm no economist but even I know you don't want to mess with Apple's money... because money is power and power is money!

The Market's Wild Ride: Buckle Up!

Remember that sweet ride we had a few weeks back? The market cruising along everyone feeling all warm and fuzzy? Yeah well that was the calm before the storm. Now we're back to white knuckle time! Seems like the S&P 500 had a nice little run since April 8th... but now BAM! Trump drops the tariff bomb and everyone's scrambling like Huell trying to pickpocket a Congressman. Huell gets nervous I get nervous.

Deja Vu All Over Again?

Cramer's saying this is just Trump playing his 'deal game'. Kinda like me and the D.A. always trying to cut a deal. The key is to not panic! Don't be that sap who sold the S&P at 5,000. That's like when Jesse sold his share of the meth operation for peanuts – a real 'Mr. White I need the money!' moment. Learn from his mistakes people!

Stay Calm and Lawyer Up!

Look folks the market's gonna do what the market's gonna do. But remember Saul's golden rule: 'Better call Saul!'... or at least don't make any rash decisions. Keep a level head remember Trump loves to haggle and maybe just maybe we'll all come out of this richer… or at least not completely broke. Because let's be honest breaking bad is fun but breaking the bank? Not so much.

Saul's Pro Tip: Diversify Baby!

Here’s a little something for free my friends: Diversify! Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Spread the love around! Stocks bonds maybe even some…collectibles. You never know when a Beanie Baby might be your ticket to early retirement. But if you end up needing to explain your…questionable investments to the IRS well you know who to call!