Is the Stock Market a Dumpster Fire? BlackRock Says Ditch Stocks for Treasurys!

Better Call Saul… for Investment Advice?

Alright folks Saul Goodman here your favorite (and possibly only) lawyer slash financial guru. Forget those fancy pants advisors in their pinstripe suits. Today we're diving headfirst into the dumpster fire that is the current stock market. Seems BlackRock those guys with more money than God are saying 'adiós' to U.S. stocks. Why? You can thank President Trump's tariff tantrum. Trade wars? More like trade bores! "Trade tensions have triggered a risk asset selloff," wrote Jean Boivin. He sounds like he needs a Margarita. Me? I'm staying neutral like Switzerland but with more flair.

Stock Market Meltdown? Not on MY Watch!

So what's a savvy investor to do when the market's doing the cha cha slide into the abyss? BlackRock's Boivin is telling everyone to run to short term U.S. Treasurys like a desperate man crawling through the desert. Now I'm not saying that's bad advice but remember what I always say: 'Don't drink and drive but if you do call me!' Sometimes playing it safe is the riskiest move of all. Think about it.

Short Term Fling or Long Term Love Affair?

Boivin says this ain't forever. He's talking about mega forces like AI and the environment. Sounds like a sci fi movie right? He goes on to say 'if clarity comes quickly we would up risk taking again.' Translation: if the crazy stops we'll jump back in. Until then short term flings with Treasurys. Makes you wonder who wrote this? Walter White? He would know a thing or two about chemistry and what is cooking!

Gold: The Shiny Solution!

But wait there's more! Boivin has a little secret and that secret is gold. Yep that shiny metal your grandma hoarded is back in style. It's the perfect way to diversify he says. I say it's the perfect way to impress your dates. Either way gold's looking pretty good right now. Remember "Money is not the most important thing in life but it's reasonably close to oxygen!" So keep that oxygen tank full.

CNBC Pro LIVE: A Waste of Money or a Golden Opportunity?

And before I forget CNBC's throwing a party at the New York Stock Exchange! They're calling it CNBC Pro LIVE. Sounds fancy. You can mingle with 'experts' and drink cocktails. My advice? Save your money buy some gold and call Saul. I'll give you better advice for half the price and I promise no boring presentations. Now let's be clear I love money but I am not a money launderer. I am a money… cleaner!

Saul's Final Verdict: Stay Smart Stay Shady!

Look the market's a wild ride. One minute you're up the next you're staring down the barrel of bankruptcy. But with a little smarts a little luck and maybe a good lawyer you can come out on top. So heed BlackRock's advice maybe buy some gold and always ALWAYS remember: Better Call Saul!