Holy Guacamole Pope Spotted in Wheelchair! Is This the End?!

Better Call Saul... for an Exorcism?

Alright folks Saul Goodman here your favorite attorney (and occasional miracle worker). Word on the street – or should I say the Via Appia Antica – is that the Pope himself Francis has been spotted! Not strolling majestically mind you but rockin' a wheelchair. Double pneumonia? Sounds nasty. Makes you wonder if someone put a curse on him maybe a disgruntled altar boy or a jealous cardinal. Just kidding! (Mostly.) But hey if things get dicey remember: no half measures!

Five Weeks in the Hospital? Sounds Like a Plea Deal Gone Wrong!

Five weeks in Gemelli hospital? That's longer than I spent prepping for my bar exam (and we all know how THAT went). Seriously though it sounds rough even for a guy who spends his days forgiving sins. It makes you wonder what kind of malpractice goes on in the Vatican health system? Did they forget to say their prayers or something? Maybe they need a health care consultant. *wink wink*

Wheelchair Chic: Pope Francis's New Look

Okay so he's in a wheelchair. Big deal! The man's 88! He's entitled to a little assistance. And let's be honest the wheelchair look? It's kinda… baller. I mean picture it: Pope Francis custom made papal wheelchair maybe some spinners on the wheels… Okay maybe not. But a man can dream can't he? You know what they say if you believe hard enough anything is possible!

St. Peter's Square: More Like St. Peter's Parking Lot?

So he rolled into St. Peter's Square. Bet the parking was a nightmare. You know those Vatican guys probably park wherever they want. I bet there weren't any handicapped parking spots for Pope Fran though? Can you imagine the outrage?! Anyways good for the Pope though that he showed up to see the crowd and didn't stay tucked in bed. You know 'Better safe than sorry'. That's my motto.

12 Years a Pope? Time Flies When You're Forgiving Sins!

Twelve years as Pope! That's longer than most celebrity marriages. Time flies when you're dealing with centuries of dogma and trying to modernize the Catholic Church. Seriously though that's a long stint. Hope he's got a good pension plan. And I hope I get my chance to meet him! I can see it now a handshake and the big man says 'Better call Saul!'

Is This the End? Nah Just a Commercial Break!

So is this the end for Pope Francis? Is he about to kick the bucket? I wouldn't bet on it. The guy's a fighter. Besides even if he did the Catholic Church would just find another guy in a robe. No it's not like my career is on the line if he retires from his position... It is not! But who knows what might happen? What I do know is that you better call Saul for when it does!