Stock Market Bloodbath! Is This the End of the World as We Know It?!

No Fate But What We Make... Or Lose in the Stock Market

Listen up people. Sarah Connor here. I've seen the future and let me tell you it's not just killer robots you need to worry about. The stock market is having a meltdown and it's uglier than a T 1000 after a liquid nitrogen bath. CarMax is tanking? Really? Who's buying used cars when Skynet's about to take over? Maybe they saw something we didn't. Maybe they know the machines prefer new rides.

Trump's Tariffs: Hasta La Vista Baby to Global Stability

Trump's back in the headlines stirring up trouble like it's his job – oh wait it was. Now he's playing games with tariffs and the markets are responding like Judgment Day is tomorrow. U.S. Steel? He doesn't want it going to Japan? Newsflash: pretty soon it'll all belong to the machines anyway and they won't care where it's from. 'The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.' But that doesn't mean we can stop a market crash. The future is always uncertain.

Magnificent Seven? More Like the Miserable Seven

The 'Magnificent Seven' tech stocks are pulling back harder than I do when I see a Cyberdyne Systems van. Tesla Nvidia Apple – they're all sliding. Seems like even the tech giants can't outrun the apocalypse. Makes you wonder if Elon is building Terminators on the side. Meta and Microsoft just slipped? Get ready for the T 1000 to use Windows ME or the new Microsoft BOB. It's gonna be buggy and clunky. I guarantee it.

Legacy Automakers: Get to the Chopper (and Fast!)

The good ol' American carmakers? Forget about it. They're getting hammered by these tariffs. Stellantis Ford General Motors – down they go. Maybe they should invest in time travel tech instead of new models because things are about to get real bad real fast. All the more reason to steal police cars and off road vehicles.

Banking on Disaster

Even the banks are feeling the heat. Goldman Sachs Citigroup Wells Fargo – they're all taking a hit. Remember people money is just paper. When the machines come bullets will be the only currency that matters. Also canned goods... lots and lots of canned goods. Better cash out your 401k to buy shotguns while you still can. Trust me you won't be checking your stock portfolio when a T 800 shows up at your door.

Airlines: Come Fly With Me... Into a Recession

Airlines soaring one day crashing the next? Talk about volatile! Delta United Southwest – they're all feeling the turbulence. Maybe they know something we don't. Maybe they're just as scared as I am. Either way I am not getting on any planes any time soon. Too many places to hide Terminators. You got to have a plan when you are 17. I never did.