Microsoft's AI Apocalypse: Walmart's 'MyAssistant' and the Skynet Conspiracy

Hasta la Vista Google: The AI Race is On!

Listen up people. Sarah Connor here. If there's one thing I know it's that unchecked technological advancement leads to Judgment Day. And judging by this CNBC report we're not just on the road; we're pedal to the metal baby! Apparently some Microsoft AI security chief Neta Haiby accidentally flashed Walmart's AI battle plan during a Teams chat. Yeah real smooth move there Neta. This wasn't just any plan; it was a 'ready to ROCK AND ROLL' declaration for Microsoft's Entra Web and AI Gateway. Walmart building their own 'overly powerful' AI? Sounds like Skynet’s awkward teenage years.

MyAssistant: More Like MyTerminator?

So Walmart has this tool called 'MyAssistant.' Cute right? Don't be fooled. According to the leaked messages it's 'overly powerful and needs guardrails.' Guardrails? Please! You think guardrails stopped the T 1000? This thing 'leverages a unique build of Walmart proprietary data.' Translation: it knows where you live what you buy and probably what you're dreaming about. And get this some 'distinguished' AI engineer at Walmart thinks 'Microsoft is WAY ahead of Google with AI Security.' Famous last words buddy. Reminds me of the time Dyson thought the T 800 was just a 'neural net processor... a learning computer.' He ended up disassembled on his living room floor. Wake up sheeple!

No Azure for Apartheid: The Resistance Rises

But here's where it gets real. Amidst all this AI madness there were protests. People are finally waking up! Activists are calling out Microsoft for its role in shall we say less than savory activities. Hossam Nasr organizer with No Azure for Apartheid interrupted the session blasting Microsoft for 'whitewashing the crimes of Microsoft in Palestine.' Someone gets it! Turns out this isn't an isolated incident. Microsoft events are becoming protest hotspots with employees getting canned for speaking out. Guess Microsoft didn't get the memo: 'The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.'

From Retail to Revolution: The Walmart Connection

Let's not forget who's at the heart of this accidental reveal: Walmart. Think about it. They control supply chains consumer data and now potentially a super powered AI. It’s a recipe for disaster. Next thing you know you'll be buying your groceries from a robot overlord who knows you secretly crave those double stuffed Oreos at 3 AM. The internal message cited a "distinguished" AI engineer at Walmart as saying "Microsoft is WAY ahead of Google with Al Security. We are excited to go down this path with you." Yeah about that AI Security...remember Skynet? Always use two factor authentication!

The Military Industrial AI Complex: Skynet's Playground

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse the article mentions that AI companies are cozying up to the military. Anthropic Palantir OpenAI Scale AI – they're all in bed with defense contractors. They're selling AI weapons to the Israeli military! It's like they're deliberately trying to build Skynet. Guess they missed my 'No Fate' speech. "Fifty thousand people have died and Microsoft powers this genocide in our region.". The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. We need to be very careful John. Very careful.

Come With Me If You Want To Live (Safely With AI)

So here's the deal: we're staring down the barrel of an AI apocalypse. Walmart's got a super powered assistant Microsoft's entangled in shady deals and everyone's building weapons. But remember the future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. Stay vigilant stay informed and for God's sake put some tinfoil on your router. Sarah Connor out. I'll be back...to warn you again.