Hasta la Vista, Gas Prices? Sunoco Swallows Canadian Rival in $9.1B Fuel Frenzy!

Judgement Day for Independent Fuel Distributors

Listen up because this is important. If a machine a Terminator can learn the value of human life maybe we can learn something too. But right now? It's about fuel and corporations are playing God. Sunoco those bastards are buying up Canada's Parkland in a deal worth over $9 billion. Nine. Point. One. Billion. Including debt. It’s supposed to create the 'largest independent fuel distributor in the Americas.' Independent my ass. Sounds more like Skynet consolidating power to me.

Strategic Review? More Like a Corporate Backroom Deal!

Parkland initiated a 'strategic review' back in March which is code for 'we’re buckling under pressure from our biggest shareholder and some activist investor weirdos.' Simpson Oil holding nearly 20% of Parkland was breathing down their necks and Engine Capital was probably whispering sweet nothings about maximizing shareholder value. I've seen this movie before. It always ends with someone getting screwed. Usually the little guy.

Cash and Sunoco Units: The Currency of the Apocalypse

So what do Parkland shareholders get? C$19.80 in cash and some Sunoco units for each share. Cash is king. But Sunoco units? That's like trading your soul for a slightly cleaner version of gasoline. Shares of Sunoco dipped 1% after the announcement. Serves them right. Though I guess there will be no revolution at the gas pump just yet but never underestimate the power of the people when they are angry at the price of gas.

$250 Million in Synergies: The Sweet Sound of Corporate Greed

They’re promising $250 million in 'run rate synergies' by year three. Synergies! That’s what they call it when they cut jobs and squeeze every last drop of profit out of the system. It's a machine. It's an efficient killing machine.

Burnaby Refinery: A Ray of Hope or Just More Smoke and Mirrors?

Sunoco claims they’ll keep investing in Parkland’s Burnaby Refinery which supposedly makes cleaner low carbon fuels. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it. They’ll run it for the 'long term' to supply fuel to the Lower Mainland in Canada. I hope they mean it. Because if this is just another corporate ploy to greenwash their image while poisoning the planet I'm going to load up my shotgun.

The Future is Not Set. There is No Fate But What We Make for Ourselves.

So what does this all mean? It means the game is still on. We can't let these corporations dictate our future. We need to fight for cleaner energy hold them accountable and protect the planet before it’s too late. Remember the future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. Now get out there and make some noise!