Valhalla's Vault: Why Holding Cash is Now More Glorious Than Plundering England... Almost

The Allfather of Assets: Why Cash is King (For Now)

Hark shield brothers and shield maidens! Ragnar Lothbrok here with tidings from across the great ocean. Word from the Federal Reserve – they're holding steady like a longship in calm waters. This means you can still hoard your silver and gold and earn a pretty penny on it. They say cash is a good 'diversifier'. Back in my day we diversified with different villages to raid. But times change eh?

Treasury Treachery: When Bonds Betray You

These clever men at Morningstar have been scribbling on parchment and say that bonds those supposed loyal dogs have been biting the hand that feeds them! Apparently they're too friendly with stocks like Bjorn trying to befriend King Ecbert. Cash however stood strong in 2022 a year as dark as a raven's wing. While stocks and bonds were drowning cash was swimming in gold. *'My ambition is to become someone other than myself'* That is what I did with Cash.

The Dragon's Hoard: Where to Stash Your Coin

Currently you can find yields around 4% like a decent haul from a Frankish monastery. Some 'certificates of deposit' offer even more. But don't be like Rollo always chasing the bigger prize. Be smart! These BlackRock fellows suggest short term bills and notes. They say cash is less sensitive to market storms seeking to preserve capital. Like a good Viking village it must have strong fences and be hard to raid.

Don't Get Greedy: Even Gods Can Fall

Christine Benz a wise woman from Morningstar warns against drowning in cash. *'Power is always dangerous. It attracts the worst and corrupts the best'*. Cash is a good stabilizer but too much makes you vulnerable. Like Floki with his faith don't get blinded by one thing. Inflation is a sneaky serpent that can devour your wealth if you're not careful.

The Saga of Savings: Age is More Than Just a Number

How much should you save? It depends on your age like knowing when to raid in the summer or huddle by the fire in winter. If you're old and grey like me when I was in that pit of snakes have a year or two of expenses in cash. Younger wolves need only three to six months. But if you're a cunning investor like I was when I first sailed West be ready to pounce when the market falls. *'I believe my fate will decide itself!'*

The Final Raid: Deploying Your Booty

So you've got your cash. Now what? Shop around my friends! Some 'Treasury money market mutual funds' offer a good guarantee. And if you're young invest that silver quickly. The market like a good longship usually goes up over time. Older investors like those plotting in Kattegat should be more cautious. Phase it in slowly. And remember what UBS said – seek 'durable income sources'. Bonds look appealing in these troubled times. But always remember cash is just a temporary haven. Don't let it become your grave. *'How the little piggies will grunt when they hear how the old boar suffered!'* Now go forth and prosper or die trying!