Valhalla Beckons Freevee: Amazon Buries the Hatchet (and the Streaming Service)

A Raven's Whisper of Change

Hark my shield brothers and sisters! Ragnar Lothbrok speaks! News has reached even these old ears carried on the wind like the scent of distant shores. Amazon a name that sounds like a tribe of fierce women warriors has decided to send its Freevee service to Valhalla. It seems they believe in consolidation much like gathering all the best warriors in one shield wall. But is it truly strength or just a way to control the mead flow?

Free… ish? The Gods of Advertising

Freevee they called it. 'Free,' like the wind in our sails or the land before we claimed it with our axes. But even 'free' has a price doesn't it? Advertisements they say are the toll. Like the tribute we demand from the English monasteries. But at least we’re honest about it! These tech lords cloak their intentions in terms of 'simpler viewing experience.' I spit on their honeyed words! Show me the blood and the gold I say!

Prime Ribbing: A Monthly Sacrifice

Now to watch these 'free' shows they want you to join Prime Video. Pay them a monthly tribute like the Danegeld! Fifteen shiny dollars a month or nine if you're willing to forgo other trinkets. And if you wish to escape the relentless barrage of advertisements give them another two! 'Fear is a powerful weapon,' they say. And so is a good price.

The Price of Silence: Ads Be Gone!

Two more silver coins to banish the interruptions of ads? It appears even in the digital realm silence has its price. Much like bribing the gods for a swift journey to Valhalla one must pay to avoid the noise. But I Ragnar say let them shout! Let them try to distract us from the stories! For we Vikings are not easily swayed.

Simpler Viewing: Or Simpler Control?

Amazon claims it wants a 'simpler viewing experience.' Hmph! Sounds like something King Ecbert would say as he plotted our demise. Is it truly about making things easier or about tightening their grip on the entertainment? 'Power is always dangerous. It attracts the worst and corrupts the best,' I always say. And this smells like power play to me.

To Valhalla Freevee! (Maybe)

So farewell Freevee. May your servers find peace in the digital afterlife. And to Amazon I say this: remember that even the mightiest empire can crumble. Power shifts like the tides and the gods of entertainment are fickle indeed. As I have learned 'I believe my fate will be decided when I die and that is that.'