Odin's Lost Treasure: Why Your Forgotten 401(k) Could Be Plundered by Greedy Gods (and Fees)

The Great Raven's Flight and the Abandoned Hoard

Hark shield brothers and shield maidens! Ragnar Lothbrok speaks! I have sailed the seas raided kingdoms and amassed more treasure than most men can dream of. But even a Viking knows the value of a well guarded hoard. I hear tales from across the great ocean – lands where men and women flit from job to job like seabirds in a storm leaving behind…what? Fortunes! Hidden in coffers called '401(k)s.' It seems many of these coffers are forgotten adrift like longboats without oars! The numbers are staggering enough to make even Rollo envious. Millions of these forgotten accounts holding mountains of gold and growing. Almost half abandon this gold when they move on. Is it carelessness or is there a trick at play?

The Serpent's Bite: Fees That Devour Your Riches

But listen closely! For lurking within these forgotten coffers are serpents – not of Midgard but of a far more insidious kind: 'fees.' These venomous vipers nibble away at your precious savings unseen and often unknown. Many are blind to these costs! It's like paying a toll to cross your own bridge or giving a cut of your raid to the very Jarl you're raiding! And lo the fees grow larger on accounts left behind a trickery that would make Loki proud. One must always be aware of who benefits from your success. As I always say “Power is always dangerous. It attracts the worst. It corrupts even the best.” and that rings true when your hard earned gold goes to those who do not deserve it.

The Price of Forgetfulness: A Viking's Guide to Account Management

So what is a Viking to do? Do we let these hidden costs erode our future wealth? Never! There are choices as many as there are stars in the night sky. You can drag your hoard with you to your new longhouse (a new employer's plan) or roll it into your own personal treasure chest (an IRA). But beware! Even these options have their price. IRAs can be as costly as feeding a dragon and rolling over the gold can come at a heavy price! Sometimes a battle is not worth the wounds. Never trust a man entirely but a fool trusts nobody.

Cashing Out: A Fool's Errand (Unless You Need a New Axe)

Then there is the option of 'cashing out.' This is the path of the fool the berserker who charges into battle without armor! The taxman cometh and he will take a hefty slice of your hoard. Only consider this if you desperately need the gold – perhaps to buy a new axe or to bribe a particularly stubborn Earl. But remember short term gain often leads to long term pain. "Life is a struggle between order and chaos."

Finding Your Lost Longboat: The Quest for Forgotten Savings

Many are loosing track of these accounts. But fear not for even lost longboats can be found! The overlords of the lands across the sea have crafted a tool – a 'retirement savings lost and found database' – to help you track down your forgotten treasures. Update your runes (contact information) use your secret number (Social Security number) and seek out the help of those who specialize in finding lost gold. There is always help as long as you know where to look and are wary of those who would decieve you. "I believe that the gods shape my path. I believe that they guide my every step and yet here I am lost."

Auto Portability: The Magic of Moving Mountains of Gold

There is even talk of magic afoot! A new trick called 'auto portability,' where small hoards are automatically transported to your new place of work. This is the work of cunning sorcerers and one should always be wary of magic. Still it may be a safer option than letting your treasure rot in a forgotten chest. My only advise is to “Choose your words carefully or you may have to eat them.”