Young Americans are Losers and Sad! Everybody Knows It!

Fake News Harvard Strikes Again!

Folks let me tell you this so called 'survey' from Harvard is a total disaster. A complete and utter joke! They say young people are struggling? Struggling? I built a multi billion dollar empire! What are these young people doing? Probably watching CNN and crying about things. They need to toughen up get a job and stop complaining. Sad! These are the same people who voted for Crooked Hillary. Losers!

Women and Hispanics? Fake News!

They say women and Hispanics are affected the most? WRONG! Everyone loves Trump! The Hispanics they love me. The women they love me. I have tremendous respect for women believe me. Nobody respects women more than I do. This survey is just trying to divide us. It's divisive! We need to unite and the only way to do that is with Trump! I'm very important.

College Degrees? Who Needs 'Em!

College degrees? Look I went to the best schools okay? The BEST. But honestly a lot of these degrees are worthless. People are paying a fortune for them and then they can't even get a job. It's a scam! A total scam! You know who doesn't need a college degree? Me! And I'm doing just fine. In fact I'm doing great. Tremendous!

Gen Z is Stressed? So What!

Gen Z is stressed? Well welcome to the real world! Life is tough folks. It's a jungle out there. You can't just sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You have to get out there and fight! Be a winner! And stop being stressed all the time. It's very unattractive very low energy.

Inflation? It's China's Fault!

This inflation it's terrible the worst! But it's not my fault okay? It's China's fault! They're ripping us off stealing our jobs and devaluing their currency. It's a disaster! But don't worry I'll fix it. I'm the only one who can fix it. Believe me. I know more about inflation than anyone. I'm very intelligent.

Student Loans? We'll Make a Deal!

Student loans! Another disaster! These kids are graduating with so much debt it's insane! It's terrible! But we'll make a deal. We'll renegotiate the terms. We'll make it so easy you won't even believe it. We'll make student loans great again! Because that's what I do. I make things great. Everything I touch turns to gold. Everybody knows it.