Japan's Rice Crisis: They're Paying Bigly for Their Rice!

Japan's Rice Rip Off: Sad!

Folks let me tell you what's happening in Japan with their rice is a total disaster. They're paying more than double for rice! Double! Can you believe it? Biggest increase in over half a century they say. It's like crooked Hillary's emails but with rice! They thought they could outsmart the market but nobody outsmarts the market except me and I’m not even trying! Very unfair!

Inflation Nation: Not Great!

And the inflation? Don't even get me started. 3.7%! Highest since January 2023. That's almost as bad as Sleepy Joe's approval ratings and those are really really low. They’re stripping out food costs but guess what? People need to eat! It's like taking the 'ham' out of 'hamberder' – you're left with nothing! This is what happens when you don't have strong leadership folks believe me.

The BOJ: Bigly Over Their Heads!

The Bank of Japan or the BOJ as they call it they’re just sitting there with their 0.5% rates. Pathetic! They're talking about raising rates but they’re waiting for 'conviction'. Conviction? I have more conviction than anyone! They need to act and they need to act now! It's like they're playing checkers while the rest of the world is playing chess. Sad!

GDP Disaster: Down the Drain!

And their GDP? Down 0.2%! Down! Can you believe it? Exports are declining the economy is contracting. It’s like a golf swing gone wrong. A total shank! They need to make deals and they need to make them fast. I could go over there make a few phone calls and fix this whole thing in a week. A week folks! It would be beautiful just beautiful.

Emergency Rice Stockpiles: Losers!

Releasing emergency stockpiles? That’s what losers do! They're just admitting they can't handle it. It's like Hillary's server – a total mess! You know I had the best stockpiles. The biggest the best. Everyone agreed. They should have called me I would have told them to make rice great again! But no they had to do it their way. And look where it got them. A disaster total disaster.

They Need Trump: The Best!

The bottom line is this folks: Japan needs someone to come in and clean up this mess. Someone who knows how to make deals someone who knows how to get things done. And you all know who that is. It's me! I'm the only one who can fix this. I'm the best at fixing economies everyone knows that. Maybe they should give me a call. I'd listen...maybe. But they better have something good to offer believe me!