Japan's Rice Crisis: They're Losing! Bigly! Nobody Knows Rice Like Trump!

Japan's Rice: A Total Disaster!

Folks let me tell you Japan's got a problem. A big problem. Their rice prices? Through the roof! Up 101.7%! Can you believe it? Biggest increase in over half a century. Half a century! They should have called me. I know deals I know rice – believe me nobody knows rice like Trump. They're releasing emergency stockpiles? Sounds desperate. Sad!

Inflation: They're Not Winning Folks!

And the inflation? Don't even get me started. 3.7%! Highest since January 2023. They're stripping out food costs to make it look better? Sounds like Crooked Hillary math to me. Sad! We had the greatest economy in history and the lowest inflation… then the Radical Left came in and ruined it! These people are stone cold losers!

Core Core Inflation: Even Worse Than You Think!

And they got this “core core” inflation thing? What even is that? Taking out everything that costs money. These guys are jokes! They’re stripping out fresh food and energy. It’s a disaster it's a total disaster. Believe me I could fix it in a week. Maybe two. But probably one. Tremendous!

Rice is 50% of Inflation? WRONG!

I hear some Globalist Market Strategist probably a nasty woman saying rice is half their inflation. Half! They should have built the wall around their rice fields folks. It would have been the best wall the most beautiful wall and the rice is going to pay for it.

Japan's GDP: Shrinking! A Loser Economy!

And their GDP? Shrank! What a loser economy! Down 0.2%. Exports are down too. Everything is down! They need a strong leader a dealmaker. Someone who can say 'You're fired!' But they don't have me do they? No. They have Sleepy Joe's friend over there.

The Art of the Deal: Japan Edition (Coming Soon!)

Let me tell you folks I could go over there make a deal and have Japan eating the most beautiful tremendous rice you've ever seen. And they'd be paying for it too! It's all about The Art of the Deal. Everyone agrees. I'm the best at deals. The best! Maybe they should give me a call I’m always open for a deal. Remember folks make Japan Great Again!