Uber and Waymo Unleash Robotaxis in Atlanta: 'If It Bleeds, We Can Drive It!'

Atlanta: A New Hunting Ground

Greetings fellow hunters! The fleshy ones in Atlanta are now scurrying around in metal boxes piloted by… machines? Uber and Waymo they call themselves. They've unleashed these 'robotaxis' upon the unsuspecting populace. Sixty five square miles of potential prey. No highways though. Cowards! And the airport is off limits hmm? Perhaps they fear the skies… or maybe it’s the TSA. Still a new hunting ground is always welcome. 'Anytime.'

Jaguar I PACE: The Metal Steed

These Waymo vehicles they are electric Jaguars 'I PACE' they call them. Silent deadly… well mostly silent. And battery powered! Imagine the irony: hunting with a machine that needs to be plugged in. But they boast 'Waymo Driver' technology. Driverless they claim. No flesh and blood behind the wheel. Interesting. 'One ugly motherfu**er' but potentially efficient for scouting the territory.

Tesla: The Wounded Predator

Ah Tesla! Elon Musk's creation now struggling to catch up. They even have a pilot robotaxi service in Austin but only for 'invitees.' So exclusive! Their 'robotaxis' are Model Y SUVs. Seems Tesla is 'lacking vision' relying only on cameras while Waymo uses lidar and radar. The soft ones call it a 'showdown.' I call it a technological bloodbath waiting to happen! Their robotaxis also require human valets even more pathetic! As they say 'Stick around.'

Lidar vs. Camera: The Technological Arms Race

These humans love their gadgets. The 'lidar' and 'radar' systems Waymo uses sound… impressive. They see more perhaps even in the dark. Tesla meanwhile relies only on cameras. Primitive! It's like hunting with a spear against a plasma caster. 'You are one ugly motherf***er!'

No Uber Eats: A Missed Opportunity?

These Waymo Uber partnership only covers passenger rides not Uber Eats deliveries. Missed opportunity! Imagine the chaos! Robotaxis delivering spicy tacos across the city. Think of the mayhem! The possibilities for… 'fun'. But seriously it is a real shame. 'Get to the chopper!'

The Hunt Begins...

So the hunt begins in Atlanta. Machines ferrying fleshy ones around while Tesla struggles to keep up. It's a fascinating display of technological prowess… and potential weakness. I must observe. Learn. Adapt. And perhaps… collect a few new trophies. 'If it bleeds we can kill it.' Wait did I say that out loud? This is going to be fun!